Life in HFIL
by bimbosarahsurfchick
Summary: An AU fanfic based in home for infinite losers. What really happens to all the bad guys? Lots of humour! Who does Freeza fall in love with? How does King Vegeta feel about his son marrying an earthling? How’s Vegeta going to cope with an eternity without
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

I just had this plot bunny when I was lying in bed and decided to write it down! It soon turned into a long one shot which I have broken up into chapters R/R please! Warning: some swearing and a couple of naughty words may be in this fic somewhere Also Hitler is mentioned and also some references to gay people. None of which is to cause offensive so please don't be upset or offended please!

Also will contain some very **mild** lemon.

Life in HFIL 

**Chapter One**

Freeza looked through the bars of his prison cell; he had been killed by that purple haired brat that came out of nowhere. He was still puzzled as to whom it was and how a Sayan had managed to survive and breed, it was extremely unlikely yet somehow It had been done.

The boy did have striking familiarities with his former servant the Prince of all Sayans. The eyes looked like his, the attitude and yet the hair looked different. Also the purple haired boy couldn't have been that fool Kakorot's, because he hadn't thought twice about sparing the life or neither him nor his father King Cold.

Perhaps Vegeta had a long lost brother or cousin.

Shrugging Freeza looked back to the other bad guys who had perished and been sentenced to eternity in the Home for Infinite Losers.

The Ginyu force was having a match of rock paper scissors to determine who the new leader was going to be. After all the only survivor had been Ginyu himself when he had been turned into a frog. He was still in the frog's body as far as anyone knew and was on Planet Earth eating flies and hopping about.

"Scissors cuts paper! I win. You can now call me 'Capain Jeice'. We are the Jeice force!" claimed the red faced white haired man.

"No fair. Best out of 3" Burter growled, getting ready for another round.

This was the level of what some of the strongest people in the universe had been dragged down to. Playing a game to determine who would lead them.

Freeza then remembered something. "They were idiots all their lives, dancing about like some clowns whenever they fought anybody"

King Cold was playing a strange musical instrument he had managed to obtain from one of the ogres guarding the next dimension. It resembled a kind of flute but was about five feet long and had a skull at the base of it.

He was also on lock up but in a different cell to Freeza, it hadn't even been their faults. A row had broken out and the two ice jins had been put in locked cells for their protection.

A large mob of the strongest Sayans had planned an attack to punish and torture the Ice Jin. King Yama had to be called down to calm them all down but there were not enough cells for the feisty bunch so they just locked up the two they were after.

Stupid because they were already dead. All they could give them was an eternity of pain. Maybe lockup wasn't so bad after all.

Freeza had also had some of his power harnessed before he was sent down; to stop any attempts to break out, this made him no stronger than an average Sayan. However the loud bunch had all been allowed to keep their ki's, this made it extremely unfair and the tables had turned.

"Hey Freeza my man. Want some" a gloved hand slipped through the bars and held out a bottle of yellow liquid. Eagerly Freeza snapped it up; it had been so long since he had drunk some alcohol. He didn't have the know-how to brew his own and the only ones that seemed to were the Sayans. As you could guess they were not in a rush to usually share.

Still when someone offers you a gift you take it, it could have been another decade until he had the sweet taste of alcohol on his cold lips. He was struggling. When he was alive he was a red wine addict, he couldn't get enough he was one hundred percent an alcoholic.

HFIL made him go cold turkey and he was getting serious withdrawal symptoms; he went to bed thinking about it, he woke up with it on his mind and all throughout the day he could smell red wine.

"Oh, why thank you" quickly he pulled the plug out of the bottle and guzzled it down, before the stranger could change their minds.

He didn't expect it to taste like wine; it was a Sayan concoction after all. No doubt very strong, Most Sayans drank until they collapsed and found very high volume cocktails absolutely delicious. They were experts at brewing their own very strong substances, that's why they were treating HFIL as a 24/7 party zone. They may all be dead but they sure knew how to party!

Freeza withdrew the bottle from his lips. He had downed it; he needed some sort of booze to keep him going. It didn't taste like alcohol however; it was something he couldn't quite put his tongue on. Quite warm as well, he always enjoyed his alcohol cold. Still one can't be picky in the circumstances.

Laughter suddenly penetrated all around. King Kai even heard the loud cheers and clapping from his little Planet at the end of snake way.

'OOH bubbles the Sayans must be having a good party" he snorted as he washed the rest of the soapsuds of his little red car.

Freeza didn't know what was up, someone was the victim of some serious bully abuse, looking around he tried to see who was getting picked on. Squinting through the tight bars he managed to make out many people all laughing and some pointing at… him…

"Why am I not drunk yet… stupid Sayan drink, how dare they bluff it's so strong" Freeza scowled kicking the bottle against the wall.

He couldn't understand why they were laughing at him, perhaps because he had been put into solitary confinement and hadn't done anything wrong.

"YO FAG" that was Freeza's new nickname from the almost extinct race.

"WHAT"

"DO YOU WANT SOME MORE ALCOHOL?"

"Why what's the catch?" He said suspiciously.

"Nothing, when is there a catch? We just want to apologise for our poor behaviour, and want to make it up to you. Maybe even settle our differences." The voice defiantly belonged to a Sayan, it was one that he recognised but couldn't work out who it belonged too. It defiantly wasn't King Vegeta or that stupid baka Nappa.

Freeza summed this up in his head.

'So, I killed their race. Took their prince and made him my slave, killed their King, forced them to work for me before I did all that. Now they want to be… dare I say my friends…?'

'Man these Sayans are nothing but stupid monkeys they have no idea. Well I will be _friends _with them but just for the booze they have. Once I learn how to brew it myself, they'll wish they were never born.' He grinned thinking to himself at his sheer intelligence. Or so he thought.

The laughter was almost deafening him now; it was pounding right through his ear drums which were much more sensitive as he was forced to by King Yama to return to his first form that he had on Namek.

A short while later another bottle was handed through the bars to the eagerly waiting lizard, he snatched it,

"Thanks boys. I hope this one stronger; I don't feel drunk at all." He said in his pervy voice as he pulled the plug out.

This time warm was not the word for it; he noticed that inside the bottle had some froth. Shrugging he downed it as well; it was still the same stuff.

"Boys. Now you and I are ahem... friends. May I ask what your secret ingredient is?"

More laughs, even the Ginyu force had stopped arguing who was going to be the new leader and were joining in. Freeza was totally unaware of what the Sayans had done.

King Cold was shaking his head at his son's misfortune, he would love nothing more than to bust out of the prison and tell him what was going on, but that wasn't possible as the bars were KI proof. Secretly he found what the others were doing was disgusting but disturbingly amusing.

"Well… what do you lot say,? We tell our _lord _what is in that _lovely _alcohol?" Radditz said levitating above all the rest of the group. There must have been at least fifty Sayans all clustered together. Cheering and laughing.

"Your majesty. Would you like to do the honours?" Nappa said bowing to his King who was standing amongst the crowd with his crown still perched on his head. King Vegeta himself had consumed too much of the liquor and was feeling very tipsy.

"Oh no… no lets all do it! On the count of three…" insisted the King as he clapped his hands in the air ready for the ultimate count down. He himself had drank far to many cocktails and was feeling very tipsey.

Freeza began to feel sick; they had put some sort of poison in it, something dreadful. Perhaps they had something that would make his genitals turn into a females. Or more likely maybe they had spat in it first. That would explain the froth on the newest bottle he had guzzled.

"1…………..2……………………3!"

"PISS and CUM" they all cheered.

Some called it different names as you can imagine. There was an uproar of laughter; even the ogres were joining in the party now. Everyone was teamed up against Freeza.

He himself had turned a pale white colour, and was considerably paler than he naturally was he had a tad of green to his skin which was UN natural. Never before had he felt the need to chuck up so much in his life.

"Man that's so wrong! You guys rock!" Reccombe said as he punched a very drunk Sayan on the back.

"Cocktail dude?" The drunk said as he held out a huge glass goblet with pink stuff in it to the huge member of the Ginyu.

The party was really vamping; one of the ogres fetched some colossal size speakers and was pumping the latest tunes from Earth down to the HFIL.

Everyone was having a really merry time, except Freeza and King Cold.

"OH I LOVE THIS SONG!" shouted out a female Sayan as she began to dance on a boulder in a very sexy manner, all the guys were chanting at her to take her clothes off.

"Lord Freeza. My master. Are you okay" Zarbon said as he rushed over to the prison chamber.

He hadn't joined in the fun that everyone else was having, he had been keeping out of the way already that morning he had this week so far been given a hair cut by a group of teenage Sayans and had been forced to endure hours of beatings whilst they tied him using ki proof rope they had presumably stolen from the ogres. He was far from the proud strong man he had been on Nakek, he was also teased constantly and reminded that his death was due to the Sayans heir.

"Zarbon. Make yourself useful and get me out of here. I don't care how. Just do it, I cannot endure this humiliation any longer, im going to make those monkeys pay dearly for what they have done." The angry Ice Jin growled as he threw a punch at the wall. The only damage he did was to himself, it was all Yamma's fault for taking his power off him.

Baba the little witch who was cousins with the perverted Master Roshi materialised sitting on her big magic ball. She was searching for somebody; she hovered trying to avoid the drunken Sayans.

'They call this home for infinite losers. Pfft nothing like it used to be, I'm telling you. Yamma's really let himself go this time, these idiots are treating it as a holiday resort!' baba whispered to herself as she avoided a group of young males making what looked to be a pyramid out of Sayans whilst another was charging at them trying to knock them down.

A particularly large long haired male jumped onto her magic ball and began to hug her. He was even taller than the one named Radditz.

"Hey sexy. How about a kiss Hun!" he growled into her ear, as he began to try and grab her butt. He couldn't have been much older than Goku but he looked much rougher.

A large group of males found this highly entertaining because she was so old and ugly. Poor Baba was turning a deep shade of crimson.

He succeeded as he overpowered her and placed his lips onto hers with much jaunts and cheers from the ex space pirates.

"Arggggg" he shouted as her false teeth popped out of her mouth; he quickly sobered up when he realised what he had done. It was his turn to blush. He quickly jumped off the glass ball and ran into a corner to vomit up the toxics he had put into his body.

"I've still got it in me" Baba said aloud as she grabbed her false teeth and transported out of the wilderness.

"EW man gross! You win; I've never pulled something so ugly. Eww" one of the guys said patting his friend on the back who was still emptying the remains of his guts.

"Hey that's no fair. It was hardly pulling- it doesn't count!" another protested, he had a long scar across his left cheek and had dark brown spiky hair which resembled a porcupine.

King Cold placed the musical instrument back into the wooden box it came in; it was getting to hard to concentrate on the notes with all the music and noise from the loud bunch of Sayans and partygoers.

"You know what Byrocka?" one Sayan said sitting down next to the blood lake with a blue cocktail in one hand.

"What" the one named Byrocka replied as he laid down

"I recon this is more fun than upstairs; you don't recon we accidentally got sent there do you?"

"No Shendrake, notice the lake? It's not blue it's red. Notice the rocks? No flowers, look at the sky, it's cloudy and dark. Sorry Drakey mate, we are in HFIL for sure." Byrocka assumed closing his eyes.

"Yeah spos your right. Sure is fun though! Nice to all be together! Do you recon every single Sayan is somewhere down here?"

"To be truthful. Yes. We did kill many, our race are hardly saints." Byrocka said without lifting an eyebrow.

Shendrake saw this as his cue to leave and guzzled his drink, wobbling off he went to find something else to drink and another guy to talk to.

"Vegeta. You're the prince of all Sayans right?" Yamma growled as Vegeta stood impatiently at his desk.

"Yes baka. You met me before when that twat Freeza killed me on Namek. _Remember"_ Vegeta said sarcastically folding his arms; he was beginning to get pissed off.

"I'll have no more of that attitude from you boy! I've dealt with many people like you in my time." Yamma said getting up to check Vegeta's files.

"What as strong as me also?" Vegeta said curiously.

"Well… no… not as strong as you, but with your attitude." He admitted as he undid the tie holding his record together.

The paper unravelled and seemed to go on for miles.

"Darn that's why the ribbon was holding it in." Yamma said scratching his head, he quickly looked through the beginning of the paper; Vegeta side glanced through the open door. It was the exit onto Snake way; he looked to the left and saw the path leading to the heaven side of the after world. Then straight ahead to the long and winding snake way.

"Well I can clearly see where you are going boy. Another Sayan for HFIL how lucky for them."

"How do you know? I helped save that stupid mud ball planet Earth. Surely that makes some difference." Vegeta scowled, as he looked back to the open door.

Yamma laughed hard at this comment;

"Unfortunately you have killed so much more than you have saved, you should know that son"

An idea suddenly sprung into Prince Vegeta's mind.

"No I don't understand, explain to me please"

Yamma sighed; he was going to be one of the ones that really pissed him off and made him work harder.

"Look at it this way; you have saved the Earth what once?"

"Yes"

"But you originally came to Earth to conquer it, kill everyone and use the dragon balls for your own selfish means. Am I right?"

"Yes."

Yamma continued, Vegeta's plan was in motion.

"Let me just put it straight. Every member of your race, excluding Goku and his family have ended up in HFIL."

"Really! How interesting" Vegeta said sarcastically as he conjured a small ki and began to set fire to his file that was dragging on the floor, Yamma was oblivious to this.

"Okay also your career was a Space pirate AKA a Planet Purger. You did this for nearly a decade. Killing I can't even pronounce this number of people…" Yamma followed his hand down the paper.

"Yes. But I've changed, I'm a super Sayan now, I've got a kid with my mate. I only did that because of Freeza." Vegeta protested. The paper was burning fast, he smirked to himself.

"Right. FINE." Yamma said adjusting his crown onto his red head. He swivelled around and began tapping at a monstrous sized computer. Without turning around he began speaking to Vegeta.

"The computer database says that you killed people and destroyed Planets with your father and friends? This was when you were approximately four... oh and five here… you were given to Freeza whilst you were seven."

He had his back turned to the Prince; and he saw this as his opportunity for freedom, he ran through the open door and swiftly turned left. Firing a big bang behind him as he went blowing up the entire office and destroying everything.

"you also wiped out I'm not sure I cant see without my specs… I think over 300 races…" he squinted at the bright computer screen.

It was a little while until Yamma noticed something was up; he screamed so loud that the whole of HFIL could hear him even over the notorious loud music that was beating through the speakers. It was so loud the ground was shaking. They still faintly heard Yamma hollering and swearing.

"Someone's in trouble" Bardock said as he began to strip off to take a dip in the lake. The music was beginning to get on his nerves. It was okay for some of the people down there; but he liked the peace and quiet. He also was one of the only Sayans who were not off their heads. Bardock was a t-total Sayan, never in his life had he drank alcohol and he didn't intend to start when he died.

These days all what seemed to be happening in HFIL was; the Sayans woke up, teamed together, **_made booze, drank booze, made more booze, partied hard, drank more booze, some took the occasional hard core space drug called Pluzoc, which they had actually managed to grow, and harvest using only one bag which was left after they were killed. _**

**_Drank some more booze, collapsed._** Then the cycle started all over again.

An Ogre spoke into a kind of walkie talkie device.

"Hey Yamma's got his hands full. You guys your prince has just been killed in action, and he's now on the run."

An uproar began, glasses got smashed in anger, swearing was all around the underworld. It looked like a riot was about to break out.

"How'd he die! Poor Geta!" shouted one purple haired female Sayan, she had very good looks and was wearing some very complimenting space armour with a short skirt.

"He got killed by that baka Freeza" pointed another guy. Freeza took a gulp; Zarbon hadn't returned yet and Freeza looked like he was going to get a torrent of abuse.

"No. he was wished back remember" Radditz yelled butting in, shouting the obvious.

"Yes. My son was wished back, he had made a life on Planet Earth from what I hear" King Vegeta growled. Silencing everybody with just one of his hands rose.

He was not overly happy with the rumour he had heard about his son mating with an Earthling. He was even less impressed that his son had managed to get his mate pregnant.

"Good on the prince!" One Sayan crowed, causing a loud applause to echo around HFIL. The ogres had long since given up trying to control the manic down under and were now resorting to drinking some of the heavily made cocktails.

"Yeah but he's dead now!" another female shouted as another glass was smashed on the floor.

A large group of big burly men began to have a fight a few yards away from Freeza's cell, it seemed they were debating about Prince Vegeta and if it was right to make a new home on Earth. They began to sandwich on top of each other in a very drunken manner.

"Hey scuse me. Yeah you." A Sayan with short cropped hair called Touresme said as he pulled on the arm of an ogre.

"Yessss how can I be of assistance _hic_" the blue ogre slurred as he threw the umbrella to the floor and guzzled the tropical coloured beverage.

"You don't recon you could get us some of that coca cola from the Princes new home do you?, and some of that vodka we've heard about… the guy over their told us about it" pointed Touresme.

His finger wandered over to a man in about his forties decked out in a Nazi uniform from head to toe, he had a strange moustache, and was drinking what appeared to be a muddy puddle as the Sayans named it.

"Wha Hitler? He said get vodka and coke?" the ogre said chucking the glass into the lake just missing Bardocks head who was still lying by the lake.

"Yeah him, the crazy guy who has likes to shove things up his arse"

"You can't say that! That's so mean" a female Sayan said butting in the conversation between Toureseme and the ogre; spilling her pink drink all on the floor as she danced to the music blaring out of the speakers. She was wearing nothing but a strange kind of bikini. The top was already beginning to go transparent after she had spilt the pink drink over it, however she was so out of it she didn't even seem to notice.

"I'll see what I can do. You guys are the best, anyone ever tells you that?" the ogre named Tonk slurred watching the girl dance by, and patting Touresme on the back.

"Yep lots of females do often tell me that" Touresme said grinning and grabbing a bottle of Champagne which was laying on the floor and had Yamma's name written across the label.

Prince Vegeta was running to nowhere in particular; he was tempted first of all to go along the snake way and train with one of Goku's Sensei's king ki.

He decided against it and went exploring to see where he ended up.

"Bulma, please gather those stupid orange plastic balls and wish me back soon" Vegeta thought into his head as he crossed over a funny bridge made of cloud. He couldn't believe that he had sacrificed himself fighting that fat pink mass of goo, and as it turns out. That fat pink mass of goo was still alive and kicking.

King Yamma was furious; he had never had a person escape him before; although in his heart he knew that he maybe wouldn't even be able to control the tempered prince if he did power up to Super Sayan 3, he was still furious.

His little helpers were running around the room in a frenzy trying to prevent the queue of dead people from causing too much of a backlog. As the day was turning out a Planet had managed to fall into a black hole killing all the inhabitants instantly. The queue was beginning to mount as people were waiting to know whether they were going up or down. Also people were still waiting after getting killed on Earth by Buu, it was the busiest the stop station had been in decades.

The papers that the Prince had burnt had soon been stamped out but some of the latest things he had done had been up in smoke, some hadn't even been logged onto the computers database yet.

For example when Vegeta was being tail gated by the Police when he was driving Bulma's super car he simply destroyed them with no care.

Another prime example was when he went into space to vent his anger about his feelings for his mate. He destroyed several Planets that got into his way.

None of this had been logged. He still had more than enough evidence to go back down to HFIL however; as he had been a '_bit'_ bad behaved in the past. Yamma smirked to himself, sending that terror down was going to be fun.

Freeza grimaced as a group of ogres walked over drunkenly and laughing they were swinging the keys to unlock his cell.

'Hey! What do you think you're doing stop" the ice jin protested as the bolts unlocked and the door swung open. He had wanted to escape but the Sayans would still be after blood; he wanted to do it in a sneaky way.

"GET HIM!" shouted a group of teenagers as they bundled into the cell and began punching and kicking the shit out of the once powerful tyrant. One of them made a ki and cut of his tail, blue blood squirted everywhere. Freeza fell to the ground in agony; he knew he couldn't die that made it worse. This really was Hell for him, a lifetime of beats from a group of his ex predecessors.

Suddenly the little human named Hitler ran into the room carrying what looked to be a giant fruit.

A small smile crept over the tyrants face, maybe HFIL wasn't going to be that bad, Hitler had commented to him on several occasions how he liked the sound of Freeza's voice and secretly the Ice jiin had a small crush on him, King Cold would be disgusted.

'What is he going to do with that fruit?' Freeza pondered as perverted thoughts crossed his mind about the crazed dictator.

The teenagers turned their attention to the short fat human carrying the large fruit.

"Hey if it isn't bumboy." One crowed leaving Freeza lying in a pool of blue blood on the floor.

"Oi _sir _whatcha gonna do with your fruit?" one said as he pulled a hood from his top over his hair he walked closer to Adolf.

"I recommend he shoves it up perv's big ugly butt crack" a third replied cackling meanly.

All ten of the gang were disrupted when a voice screamed in the distance.

"Mazock isn't that your sister screaming?" the first growled clenching his fist angrily.

"If anyone lays a hand on her…" the one named Mazock shouted as he flew out of the prison cell; he was soon followed behind by the nine others leaving just Freeza and Hitler in the cell.

Bardock began to swim lengths through the huge red lake, his son Radditz was beginning to get onto his nerves, always telling stories of him and the Prince and their adventures in space. Lately Bardock kept thinking about his youngest son Kakorot, if it was true what the Prince had said on his last visit to HFIl he had made it to the legendary super Sayan. Was it really possible a feeble third class could hold that power? Also he had heard from the gossip that he was a grandfather and that Kakkorot had bred and produced offspring.

Hitler turned to face Freeza with a psycho looking smile across his face. "Hei. You. big boy. Stick that tail right up my bum crack. Do it now." He instructed pointing to his nether regions.

Freeza began to cackle in an evil way; he pulled himself off the floor and tried to wipe some of his blood off his skin. Maybe the Ice Jiin could make an army with his new friend? First he had some things to deal with… like getting his hands dirty and sticky.

_**Disclaimer: That's the first chapter done and dusted, let me know what you think, and if you want the other chapters posted up. Hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it.**_

_**R/R please many thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Chap two

A few hours later, the showers were turned on. In HFIL hot water only ran for four hours a day; and as there was such a huge number of inmates and few showers they were always busy.

One of the cubicles had ten showers in a line, there was only a dozen or so of the buildings right across the land.

In one of the outlets Zarbon, the elite force (as the Ginyu force had decided to call themselves) and a couple of random strangers were bathing.

"Hey Burter, pass the shampoo would you" Jeice said as he washed his long white mane. He was always one of the first in the showers and the last to leave; his hair was precious to him.

"Why do I need shampoo? I haven't got it" Burter replied as he sloshed some shower gel over his body.

All the gang were decked out in nothing but a pair of shorts, they didn't look a pretty sight.

"I've um. Got some soap if you want to use it" Zarbon said as he rinsed the conditioner out of his long green hair, and felt the water pour over his skin.

"Soap. Nah thanks I like the smell of sweat it makes me feel manly" Reccombe said puffing his muscles out and just succeeding in making himself look an idiot.

"So you want to smell and your having a shower. Makes sense." Guldo grumbled as he tried to reach up to grab a bottle of scent. He was too short.

"True, true" Reccombe said as he scratched his orange hair pulling a confused look.

"If you smell you wont be in the elite force" Jeice said turning around and pulling his boxers down to clean himself properly.

Zarbon sighed, how was he in this place with these idiots? In his life, he had looked up to the Ginyu force; he'd never exactly met them face-to-face but he had heard stories about them. How strong they were. Vegeta had worked with them in the past on a couple of purging missions and had witnessed their power but Zarbon was usually close to Freeza. He helped send out the orders to workers and was practically Freeza's PA.

Once Zarbon had met them on Namek his opinion of them totally changed; they did a ritual dance that made them look pathetic and they were not half as strong as the stories claimed. He saw the real side of them, and the more time he was forced to endure with them the more they seemed to piss him off.

He grabbed his bar of soap and began to rub his muscled body down with it; he really needed to request a sponge. The soap lathered and bubbled all over making him sell fresh and beautiful. One thing that he liked was to look good and smell nice.

He rubbed the bar up his arm and then down his leg.

_Slipppp _

It slipped from his hands and landed directly on the concrete floor of the showers.

"Bollocks" he cursed in his British accent as he bent down to pick it up; unlike most of the occupants in the shower Zarbon had removed his underwear and was bathing correctly. He was proud of his figure and had nothing to hide. It had taken him a long time to get as beautiful as he looked.

Eyes wondered across the showers all belonging to the 'Elite Force'

"COR" Burter growled under his breath checking out Zarbon's backside.

Guldo quickly began removing his pants and began frantically fiddling about inside them.

Then an idea clicked in his brain; Zarbon didn't seem to like the Elite Force so he probably wouldn't condone to screwing them even if he was gay. Which they were still unsure about.

'_There's only one thing to do_" Guldo thought in his head, holding up his green arms above his many eyes.

"TIME FREEZE!" he quickly held his breath and began to grope Zarbon's naked buttocks. Quickly pulling down his tiny thong like pants he began to make fast and literally breathless love.

The rest of the gang were all frozen in time; eyes were bulging at the sight of Zarbon and all of them had hard on's; they looked a real sight…

Cell was sitting on a log he had the Cell Juniors on each side all listening eagerly to their father. He was telling them stories of from long ago, and was also educating them on how to correctly torture humans.

"Hey Colza? Remember when Nappa used to have hair," laughed a Sayan named Rizock. He used to work for the Royal family and was an elite guard.

Colza was a middle-aged guard who also worked with Rizock; he had short dark hair that was flat down then spiked at the front and fell at the front.

"Yeah man, Nappa what a dick. You recon it was the Prince who made him lose the hair?" he replied smirking, Moving his fluffy tail about.

"Nah I recon woman troubles" Both the Sayans laughed hard; at the expense of Nappa who was trying to wash his baldhead in the red Lake.

Freeza was having the time of his life with Hitler; the fruit had gone just where he wanted it too; and who would have thought a tail would have came in so handy? Hitler didn't seem to be able to stop he must have had some seriously strong aphrodisiac.

He was being entertained and turned on so much that he had forgotten all about the Sayans and how they were out to get him.

"Do you know how to do BJ?" Hitler demanded as he whipped Freeza with what looked to be a riding crop.

Freeza grinned; that was his speciality…

Quickly he jumped onto the little human man.

Vegeta was getting more frustrated by the minute; he had no idea where he was heading; all he knew was that he didn't want to go down to HFIL and face the wrath of his father; especially if his people learnt they he had sacrificed his own life to save others.

He came to a house that seemed to be made on some pink fluffy clouds; he could smell chicken being cooked and his mouth began to water, it had been so long since he had eaten over 20 hours to be exact, he was famished and tired.

Flying up to the house he opened up the little wooden door, it was unlocked so he stepped inside…

Bulma had just gotten to the front of the queue at Yamma's office, it had been turmoil. She heard some of Yamma's workers mumbling something about an escapee.

"Name, Planet," Yamma said angrily as he slammed a book down in anger on the newly erected wooden table.

"B-Bulma Briefs. Earth." She stuttered; their was something about the big huge red demon that scared her, it could be the fact he had the power to deem her to an eternity of goodness or join all the bad nuts down stairs. Something about him terrified her.

One of the little helpers came over carrying a small file and handed it to the King.

Bulma began to think of all the bad things she had done in her life, all the times she'd lied or bitched, how she often lost her temper, married a Sayan prince ex space Pirate. The list was quite long but they were minor offences compared to some people. She couldn't help whom she fell in love with neither.

"Your okay, please go through the door and turn left. Congratulations your now classed as an angel" Yamma said bored tapping the table impatiently.

"Um. Excuse me sir, can I just ask one question" Bulma said looking right up to the huge man; he made Ox king look like a midget.

"Yes, be quick I don't have all day"

"Did my husband Vegeta come through here? And is he still.." she gulped. "Evil"

Bulma had been distraught earlier; for no reason Vegeta seemed to have lost it, he destroyed a whole stand at the World Tournament killing everybody and for what seemed no reason. Not even Goku had been able to control him. Was it that he had just had enough of playing happy families or was it as Chichi had said to Bulma; he was being controlled. If that was the case was he back to normal now? Bulma needed all these questions answered.

"Yes. That little bastard did come here, he's somewhere out there until I get my fucking hands on him." Yamma said angrily squeezing a huge pen and making it explode; ink splattered everywhere just missing covering Bulma.

"He's the escapee!" Bulma shouted, her mouth dropped open;

"Go. Now" Yamma said angrily clearly not wanting to talk about the situation any longer.

Meanwhile Prince Vegeta had been making himself feel comfortable; he had lots of things to think about, like what he was going to do next, he had a sinking feeling that kept increasing in his guts a feeling he wasn't familiar with. He'd felt guilty about letting Majjin take control of him; all he wanted was to get stronger than Kakkorot. He'd let the evil take over him he was right it made him more powerful but then it began to take control.

He proved them wrong however; he fought the Majjin and destroyed his quarters. Then he self destructed in order to kill Buu. He had a moment of intimacy with his son Trunks, he was feeling upset also because he had to say goodbye in his heart he loved his son deeply. That day he had given him his first real hug, and what would probably be his last, he hoped that somehow Buu would be defeated if only he could get another crack at him. His son couldn't face a life like he had led as a child under the wrath of Freeza.

He laid down on the bed and began to drift off to sleep, he had already consumed all the chicken that was cooking in a large green oven, and it had been almost cooked and tasted perfect. It wasn't enough to succumb to his huge Sayan appetite but it was enough for now.

"Hey Radditz, try this drink its new" Toures said as he handed a green and red coloured drink over.

Radditz was already wasted; he had drank far to much, being in HFIL was reminding him of his Planet purging days with Vegeta and Nappa, the endless long nights him and Vegeta spent out drinking and getting laid, it also reminded him of when they got space leave. His life had been just like it was now just not as good, who would have thought that a life in hell would be so fun!

Radditz eagerly gulped some of the glass down before retching. The most repulsive thing he had perhaps ever drunk was sloshing about his mouth; he daren't even swallow it that didn't help getting the taste away.

The next second he chucked up everything that had been in his stomach. All the alcohol and the food he had earlier, he felt considerably lighter and better afterwards but still had the drunken light-headed feeling.

"That's wrong. So wrong" Radditz said wiping his mouth and sticking his tongue out in a bid to get the disgusting taste away. His vomit had tasted better.

"Its new! Grinded up Saybermen! The insides, skin and everything and its alcohol free!" Toures winked meanly as Radditz turned around to try and throw up again.

An ogre was sitting on a rock flicking through a very explicit magazine that would make even Master Roshi blush.

A teenage Sayan was eagerly waiting to get his hands on it once the demon had finished with it.

Porn magazines were in big demand; the only ones that got in were the ones the ogres managed to smuggle in, females were the more common source of sexual excitement down in the depths of Home for Infinite Losers.

Bulma followed the trail of clouds left and came to the strange little house that Vegeta was asleep in; puzzled she looked at how she was to get onto the pink fluffy clouds above her. If she was Goku it would be no problem to just fly up there, but she couldn't fly and had no capsules with her. Sighing she gave up on going to the house and began to follow the wooden signs, it couldn't be that long until she found somewhere to live.

Vegeta was still snoozing, when the door opened, a strange little old lady tip toed inside.

"Who's been eating my chicken?" she grumbled as she saw the empty plates chucked on her little wooden table, the bones had been picked clean. She then walked into the little bedroom she owned, and saw the intruder asleep in her bed.

'He's quite dishy' she thought in her head rubbing her hands deviously together. She couldn't even see his body figure but judging by the little smile he had across his face he looked extremely cute.

"I wonder what you're dreaming about" she said as she walked over to the Sayan Prince and placed her hand onto his forehead.

The lady was called Erron, she was friends with King Kai she looked extremely old, each wrinkle on her face telling a different story and resembling another decade she had been alive. Vegeta looked extremely young sleeping next to her.

Dream

Vegeta was kissing a blue haired girl, her hair was in bunches and she looked incredibly sexy' all she was wearing was a very short gown which was practically transparent and some pink lacy underwear underneath.

"Vegeta. My prince, I love you," she said kneeling on the bed after performing a very explicit sex act on him. He was still breathless after the orgasm.

"I know that Onna, just make love to me again now."

"Okay. But first let me introduce you to my friend. She loves you too."

The blue haired woman abruptly got up and left the room leaving Vegeta who was now laying on a waterbed with fishes underneath him. One of the fishes had really big teeth and green scales. The others resembled Nemo.

The door opened again and an older woman with bottle blonde hair entered followed closely by the much younger blue haired lady.

"Vegeta. Mother loves you to. She wants to feel your muscles and maybe have your child, is that okay. I don't mind"

Vegeta's eyes began to pop out of his head, he looked for a way to escape, and suddenly the door had gone. He was in an empty room with hospital equipment everywhere, rows of needles and shots were lined up against the wall. On the other side a nest of insects with large nippers and lots of legs were crawling about. Earwig's one thing that the Sayan couldn't stand, they terrified him after Bulma told him they would crawl into his ears.

Bunny jumped onto the waterbed next to Vegeta and held him down by his throat as Bulma stood their watching her mother grope him. Bulma then ran over with a needle and stabbed it into Vegeta.

"This is for being a naughty boy and killing all those people" she stabbed it into his arm, a pain shot up like he had been shot. Then he felt something crawling over his face and entering his ear. Earwigs were everywhere. Bunny was trying to get her hands into his boxers.

End of Dream

"AHAHHHHHHHAHHHHH" Vegeta woke up in an instant. He was screaming, he had cold sweats all over him; how could a dream turn from something so nice into such a nightmare.

Suddenly he looked up and saw the funny glasses and the old raggedy grey hair. Blinking he wondered if this was just another part of the horrible dream, perhaps he hadn't even died it might all be one big dream. No such luck there, everything came flooding back to him.

"Get off me" he said quickly pulling the blankets off him and knocking the old ladies hand off his forehead. What the hell had she been doing touching his face anyway?

"Well, well. Prince Vegeta, what an interesting dream you were having, I understand now you miss that blue haired girl. Feeling guilty about something are we? Or are all your dreams that demented?" the aged lady said as she patted her patted her flowery dress down dusting it.

"Who the fuck are you?" Vegeta mumbled blushing; had she seen the beginning of his dream. Suddenly he felt a pang of misery, he really missed Bulma more than anything else. Although he hated to admit it she was his world.

"Please, don't use those vile words to me, you can call me Erron," she said grinning an almost toothless smile.

"I'll use whatever language I want. I am the almighty Prince Vegeta, no old bag can tell me what to do," he said gruffly folding his arms defensively over his chest.

Suddenly his stomach grumbled, the chicken had dealt with his appetite earlier but it still didn't fill the gap enough and now after his nap his metabolism was kicking back in.

"Hungry? I can cook you something darling" Erron said in a delighted voice.

Vegeta didn't know how to take this strange lady, she was clearly very old and he believed very senile but he was intrigued at how she could read his dreams. Was she of some strange alien race? Was it possible he could learn this power? Not that it would be much use now he was dead.

Misery kicked back in again; he began to feel really depressed and lonely. The last he knew his wife and son were back on Earth safe but they could both be killed by the pathetic bulging blob that had taken his life and their would be nothing he could do.

If he had the chance of a wish on the dragon balls secretly it would be one of the hardest decisions of his life. His family or revenge.

When he thought about it logically providing the Namekian Dende survived the dragon balls would be around. So if he defeated Buu he could then wish everyone back to life, but Bulma and Trunks might not even be dead in the first place.

"What's wrong? You look down in the dumps," Erron said placing a large fruit bowl in front of the Sayan who was now sitting up her table deep in thought.

Vegeta took a deep breath, he was starving but the food didn't appetise him. He just felt like sitting in the corner of the room and crying; never in his life had he felt like this, even after the way Freeza treated him.

Suddenly it hit him.

"You, your telepathic aren't you?" he demanded looking to Erron who was now pulling various cooking ingredients out of the cupboard.

"Yes little peach, I am. Why what do you want to know?" she said showing her toothless grin again.

"Tell me, can you detect if people are still alive?" Vegeta said perking up, maybe she could help him out after all, this was more important than learning to drop in on people's dreams.

"Yes, it was one of the first things I learnt. I'm a retired Ki you see. King Yamma is my great great grandson. His grandmother was my daughter; she ended up with this huge troll as a husband.. You wouldn't believe it if you saw…" Erron was cut off reminiscing by an impatient Vegeta who jumped up out of his chair and was bending down to the short height of the little old lady.

"I don't care. Just tell me, is my wife Bulma and my brat Trunks alive or dead?" he said impatiently standing up straight.

"Hey calm down princey. Bend down I'll have to read your mind first." She instructed as he bent down and let her feel his forehead. Usually he wouldn't condone such an act but he desperately needed to know if they were safe.

"Oh, take a seat please do" Erron said sternly pulling a new chair out for Vegeta.

In his heart he knew what she was going to say.

"You've had a very nasty past haven't you, you really love this lady called Bulma? Well… I've got to tell you this I suppose." She mumbled quietly.

"Their dead like me aren't they" he said bluntly holding his aching temples of his forehead, he was trying to keep his voice calm but it kept wavering, the last thing he wanted to do was cry, he was a warrior, Sayans never cried…

"No not both of them. Just the one you call Bulma, your son is training" Erron said quietly, she could feel the pain the Prince was feeling.

"Bulma… it was Buu wasn't it," he said quietly as he put his head in his hands.

"Yes. It was quick she's very close by I assure you" Erron said taking one of Vegeta's hands and holding it. She had to be there for this poor little guy. His world had been destroyed, he'd been enslaved, and now the only bit of happiness he had was almost all taken away.

He really was strong willed, many men would have gone AWOL by now, Vegeta was still standing but he looked broken.

He couldn't prevent the tears in the end, they came flooding down from his dark mysterious eyes, he gave up holding them in. what was the point, he had nothing. He sat and sobbed for what seemed hours. Suddenly he felt a Ki close by that was extremely familiar.

"Bulma… BULMA!" with that Vegeta flew out of the little old ladies house leaving her sitting up the table alone. She'd never seen someone move with that speed before.

'Oh what love feels like' she sighed to herself as she began to pack the ingredients back into her cupboards.

_**Disclaimer: I want to say a quick thank you to everybody that reviewed my last chapter! You don't know how good reviews make me feel it is what spurs me on and inspires me to write. Even if you have reviewed before **_

_**I just want to say a special thank you to these people: **_

**_Dan- _Hey! Thanks for helping me with some ideas! We make a great team! Bike ride when your ankle has healed!**

Debje- Hehe! Glad you like it! Lol I surprise myself sometimes I hope the new chappie makes you so happy! Let me know! Yea Freeza's getting his just desserts haha! Him and Hitler make a great couple I think! Hehe. Thanks for the review!

Bobbie- Hoped you liked the new chappie!!!! Thanks for the review!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

The Prince moved with such speed he soon caught up with Bulma, she was walking very slowly in the direction of some strange looking trees in the distance.

Creeping up behind her he grabbed her arse through her small blue dress she was wearing. He was impressed; was it just fate that she had been killed in the clothes he favoured her wearing the most?

Bulma screamed and swivelled around expecting it to be a pervert like Master Roshi trying to grope her, never would she have expected it to be the super Sayan prince.

"Vegeta…" she whispered almost not believing it herself; her handsome prince was standing there in all his glory, he'd never looked so sexy to her.

"Bulma, listen I need to tell you something…" he said quietly looking down at the ground, his eyes looked red as if he had been crying.

"Geta…" she said softly, this wasn't his usual hard guy attitude. Something must be up, was their even a planet Earth left?

"I.. I LOVE YOU" he blurted out then blushed.

Bulma was taken aback by the sudden outburst, whatever had happened to her husband on Earth had obviously affected him badly. Unless he was brain damaged she thought to herself. He never said he loved her, he only showed her his affections.

"Geta… what happened back on Earth?" she said half wanting to know the answer the other half wanted to be kept in the dark like a mushroom in a cupboard.

"I'm so sorry princess, it wasn't my fault. - Well entirely" he said beginning to smirk. The sad guy act was over, the normal Vegeta was back.

"VEGETA it's not funny!" she shouted, stamping her foot on the ground like a little kid.

"Listen come with me, I'll tell you all about it. It's a long story." he said quietly sweeping her up into his big muscular arms; Bulma allowed him and buried her face in his chest he felt so warm and smelt so familiar; she had missed him so much the last few days.

They had things to sort out, but they were probably easy enough to deal with. Even if he had turned evil he would never hurt her. For the first ever time he had said he had loved her. _That must mean something_, she thought to herself; also the strange markings on his forehead Chichi had pointed out at the tournament had disappeared.

"It took you a lifetime to say you love me jerk!" Bulma said playfully pulling his hair as they took off in the opposite direction to the trees.

Vegeta just held onto his mate tightly; he couldn't lose her again; she had always meant so much to him he just didn't want to say it. She knew it of course hence why he would do anything for her. He managed to blurt out the words that he couldn't say before. It was suddenly so easy; maybe fighting that big pink blob of flem Buu wasn't such a bad thing.

They flew for what seemed miles, not saying a word to each other. Vegeta began to move his hand up her back in a soothing way; Bulma moved uneasily in his grip. She couldn't make up her mind if he was trying to seduce her or wind her up because she had a fear of bring dropped. A few second later Vegeta sensed her uneasiness and held her even tighter and closer to his rock hard body.

He landed among a pad of clouds, with flowers and a small lake, it looked picturesque, a small wooden house was in the distance, and this also had a field of multi colour flowers surrounding it.

"This place should do," he said in a carefree tone; as his boots hit the soft springy grass. He lowered Bulma to the ground who was still gripping his neck.

"Its beautiful," she said softly, awed at the natural beauty of the after life, she thanked Kami that she had behaved enough not to get sent down to HFIL. Spinning around she turned to confront her husband who was looking into the distance in deep thought.

"You wanted to know why I was evil" he said quietly scraping his foot in the ground and sniffed. Him and Bulma had a special bond; they could sometimes read each other's deep thoughts.

Seeing him stand their like that reminded Bulma of a innocent defenceless child; Below the spiky hair and the sexy muscles and tough guy attitude Bulma knew he had feelings just like her and Goku.

Bulma sat down among the flowers and waited for an explanation. At this moment she just wanted to grab him and make love to him like she used to. Something about dying made her really horny, it was either that or perhaps she had just missed his touch and body.

When she saw him kill those people the day before in the stand her heart felt like it was crumbling. The heiress didn't know which way to turn; whether to run and calm her husband down or burst into a pool of tears.

"I'm not going to lie to you Onna." He gulped as though he was taking his last breath. He didn't know if he was going to regret telling her this. "I turned Majjin as I believed I would be in control of my actions, I needed to make myself stronger than Kak- I mean Goku." Slowly he sank down next to Bulma who was watching him carefully not showing a reaction just taking in what he was saying.

"I allowed him to take control of my body, to begin with I could control it. I went against his power but then… it got stronger, he made me destroy those humans in the stand. It was so hard, one half of me wanted to kill them the other…" he dropped off as tears began to fall into his eyes.

"I felt like I was working for Freeza again."

Bulma put an arm comfortingly around the Sayan Prince, she didn't say anything she just closed her eyes and rested her head against his. She began to caress his cheek in a soothing way as if wiping away the bad memories.

"Vegeta… I don't care, your back to normal now and that's all that matters. I need you, I really do, I love you so much" she ushered as she opened her eyes and began to stroke his hair affectionately with the other hand. She couldn't bear to see him upset; he was usually so unemotional.

"Do you think Trunks will be okay?" she said biting her lip as she brushed his ears; Vegeta began to purr when she did this.

His pur soon turned to a growl. "Don't know. He's strong willed; I had to knock him out so not to interfere when I was going to sacrifice myself… I didn't want him to see me… I don't want him to bare the same scars that I did as a child," he said as he began to stroke Bulma's soft cheeks.

"You sacrificed yourself," Bulma said looking straight into Vegeta's dark midnight coloured eyes. She began to have visions of everything; then she saw the moment father and son were embracing.

He just nodded in agreement.

It was then that Bulma knew in her heart that every word Vegeta was telling her was the truth.

"C'mon, let's go see what's in the house over there. You look like you need something to eat, I can always tell when your hungry" Bulma said playfully as she poked Vegeta into the ribs and pulled him up out of the flowers.

Cell walked over to King Cold who had began to play his musical instrument again, he looked very bored and depressed.

"HEY big guy need someone to talk to?" Cell said as he walked into the room, which was now unlocked and sat on the wooden bench.

King cold looked up and placed the appliance down.

"How are you doing cell my friend?" he said smiling a little.

He didn't get along with many people in HFIL but Cell and him got along quite well; they spent many hours passing away the time chatting about whatever they felt relevant. Usually trading stories about torturing and killing people; or trade interesting tips and tactics to use on the battle field.

"I'm doing fine, im thinking of setting up an anger management class. Maybe channel some of the guy's energies in here. What do you say?" Cell said inspecting his funnel-ended tail.

"Hmm maybe, could do the Sayans some good. Maybe you could sign up my son Freeza he always had a little temper problem," laughed King Cold looking into the distance.

"Wow this place is cosy" Bulma said holding Vegeta's hand and walking into the little wooden cottage. She didn't know whom it belonged to but she didn't really care. She was feeling quite peckish herself. Opening up the cupboards to her dismay she saw they were quite bare; she had imagined for some strange reason they were going to be crammed full of chocolate and exotic foods. No such luck.

Vegeta sniffed the air and smelt something appetising, his sense of smell was much stronger than Bulma's he wondered into another room and found what looked to be a refrigerator, he managed to open it by pressing a button on the side.

To his delight it was packed full of meat, fruit, soda, water and even had a bottle of pink champagne. Bulma's favourite.

Walking into the room he stripped off his training armour leaving him in just a pair of navy trousers.

"I've found food Bu" he was cut off when he saw his wife sprawled out across the sofa. She looked so sexy wearing her short blue dress revealing to Vegeta's delight his favourite pair of her underwear, the tiny ones with the pink laces.

She looked over to him seductively and petted the seat next to her. Vegeta didn't have to think, it felt like so long since he had made love to her; it had been on his mind ever since fighting Buu. The prince was feeling really horny and she was just turning him on even more.

Vegeta could feel himself growing hard in his tight navy trousers; Bulma could see the bulge growing this made her even more turned on.

He cupped his hands on her cheeks her lips met with his and they shared a very passionate kiss.

"I'll be right back…" Vegeta said kissing Bulma firmly on the lips as he dashed up off the sofa. Having second thoughts he picked up his blue haired Princess and carried her into the bedroom.

It contained a king size bed which was very convenient and had a beautiful view of some exotic flowers outside, a palm tree was in the corner of the room as well as a small television. The walls were made of wood; it resembled the interior of a log cabin but was cute and cosy.

"Vegeta we cant. Not here, its someone's house" Bulma whispered as she clung onto the Sayan Princes neck and refused to be dropped onto the large bed.

"We can, no ones home. I need you and you need me, I can smell it" Vegeta said grinning. "You smell like those alien flowers Demozo's. You want me my princess." He said jumping onto the bed himself and playfully squashing Bulma under his weight.

"You horny Son of a bitch. Vegeta we cant, why can't we just…" Bulma was cut off by Vegeta's lips meeting hers. She couldn't control herself anymore her arms began to wonder up and down his well-trained body tracing the scars on his chest.

She began to feel inside his spandex pants and found his silky boxers. Vegeta replied by laying her flat down on the bed and kept locked in the passionate kiss.

He quickly kicked off his boots effortlessly whilst still kissing Bulma then began to feel Bulma everywhere with his wondering hands.

Before his hands wandered into her panties he prevented himself and pulled out of the kiss.

Bulma pulled a stropped face; she was just getting in the mood for it.

"Vegeta you can't just stop there" she moaned as she began to feel herself where his hands had just touched her.

Vegeta began to smile; he loved seeing his wife pleasure herself. He didn't have such innocent reasons for stopping his making out session. Without another word or a glance he ran out of the bedroom smirking all the way he found himself at the refrigerator.

He pulled out the bottle of pink champagne and found a huge pot of strawberries; and also managed to find to his delight some chocolate sauce. That was another of Bulma's close kept secrets she was a chocolate addict. He grabbed a couple of glasses that were in a corner and flew back into the room with his goodies…

"Radditz man, I need some sex," complained Nappa as he looked over to a female Sayan making out with a warrior who looked like an elite guard; he was wearing the Sayan royal battle armour. He was clearly enjoying himself and the girl was showing signs of wanting to progress further.

Radditz tried not to laugh at his old co worker, he didn't look the nicest Sayan about, and in that sort of business looks _did_ mean everything; Radditz didn't usually have much trouble pulling but the older Sayan obviously struggled. "Why not pay someone?" he grinned, before receiving a smack around the head.

A huge lumbering Sayan female was in the distance picking some kind of berries that were growing on the thorn type bushes that inhabited the underworld. She was large even for Sayan standards, or as most would put it obeist. She was wearing a strange dress with tatters in the bottom and was clearly previously a third class Sayan the way she was dressed. Nappa kept giving her quick looks as he checked her out.

She didn't look like most of the Sayan females, skinny petite and pretty sexy; she must have been in her fifty's at least. Her hair was quite long and very frizzy, she had a large double chin and her stomach was huge, she resembled more of a walrus than a Sayan.

This humoured Radditz even more; the perfect match for the bald, tall, angry man he used to have to work with.

"Go over and talk to her. Here take these" Radditz said smirking, he knew who the lady was called, her name was Betty, very strange for a Sayan name. He handed over a strange bunch of odd-looking flowers to Nappa and sat down to see the show. There was something he knew about this older woman that he _forgot _to tell his comrade.

Nappa trundled over brushing his moustache down and dusting his armour, each step he took made a loud thud. Betty turned around in surprise to see the huge tall Sayan standing next to her grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He held out the flowers in an odd manner and blushed slightly;

"Um. Hi, for you my lady" he said as he bent down onto his knees and performed a strange bow.

Radditz was keeling up on the floor laughing, this one of the funniest things he had seen all day.

Betty took the flowers shyly and blushed even more than Nappa had just done; he stood up back onto his feet and stood the same height as her, she must have been almost eight feet high.

"My name is Nappa, I served the prince through his life, and I was the leading commander of the Sayan army. May I ask what your name is my beautiful." He said softly.

Radditz could hear every word. Tears were streaming down his eyes'; looking about he was trying to attract someone over to help share this hilarious moment with.

Freeza was laying across the bed on his front; Hitler had managed to tie him to his stone mattress and was continuously whipping the ice jiin and pulling his tail until Freeza couldn't stand it anymore. Hitler had been clad out in a strange black leather suit with a zip, this seemed to turn Freeza on; it reminded him of what he made his whores wear when he was a tyrant.

"You like bondage lizard man" Hitler said in a strong accent as he shoved the whip right up Freeza's butt.

"I Lov- Bondage" Freeza panted as the Nazi began to move the riding crop about in his arse. The pain was incredible but Freeza wanted more, he needed it.

His shouts of joy and pain were heard right across the lake; also Hitler's shouts and commands could be picked up by most of the ears.

"C'mon baby, let me just see what you wear under that sexy dress, I won't touch I promise" Nappa winked as he pushed Betty up against the tree and was sliding his hands up her legs.

Betty was panting heavily under his heavy weight, she hardly knew this man but she wanted him badly now and then.

"There's something.. I've got to… tell you," she panted as Nappa began to chew her ears and nuzzled her face with his. His hands were sliding up higher and higher.

Radditz had succeeded in gaining the attention of half a dozen men and a couple of very pretty females, they were all holding onto each other for support; they every single one knew Betty's little secret.

Radditz pulled one of the girls onto his lap, she had jet-black hair with pink streaks through it; she looked incredibly beautiful. She was sobbing tears of laughter into his chest as he stroked her back affectionately, tears were also leaking from his eyes.

"Cocktails people?" A sayan named Bronk said as he carried a tray of drinks over to the gang in hysterics. Quickly they all accepted a drink, the girl remained seated in his lap sipping her lime green beverage. She was still giggling at the scene happening before them.

"I heard he was stupid but that's beyond me.." one of the guys called Nathap said amazed at how little the older man knew about this large woman. He had no idea at all judging by his actions.

"You'd never have thought he led the entire Sayan army into the battle of Amrmarda" laughed one of the teen males as he leaned back to watch the view.

"My.. My what do we have here?" Nappa said winking and touching what he believed was her panties. He hadn't seemed to notice the amount of hair on her legs, most Sayans even the males didn't have hairy legs but Betty seemed to make up for it.

Betty quickly stopped him talking by giving him a deep long passionate kiss and encouraging his hands to wonder inside her underwear she teased them inside, forcing his hands where she wanted them to go.

"Hey, Betty… your so…" Nappa said instinctively, then he felt something hard, it didn't feel appropriate to where his hands were now trying to locate, he had been feeling around inside her underwear but couldn't locate the certain spot he wanted it was somehow missing. Instead something long and hard was in its place.

"He knows.. He does!" Radditz smirked squealing with joy at the look on the elite Sayans face.

For some reason Nappa didn't remove his hands from inside the underwear he kept frantically trying to find the spot to enter her. He moved his hands more to the right and froze when he felt something round. Quickly he pulled his hand back to the left and found something else round. It was then that he began to notice the unmistakeable amount of hair on her legs. Looking up into her eyes with the look of a terrified rabbit just been ran over but still alive. He noticed something…

One of her breasts had gone!

It must have fallen out of her dress when he pushed her against the tree.

"Nappa… my man, don't stop feeling me," Betty said closing her eyes. Realising his hands had came out of her huge underwear she opened them again.

Nappa's eyes had fallen to the large round fruit that had smashed on the floor, it had previously been a green stripy watermelon, and it was now broken on the floor.

Radditz was almost passing out with laughter; it had to be the funniest thing he had seen in years. Nappa had groped a cross dressing male who believed they should be a woman.

He'd managed to spill his drink all over the floor, but nothing mattered at that precise time except letting out the laughter that was making him feel light and airey.

"Oooh my ribs" Radditz said taking very deep breaths to try and calm himself, the girl quickly rolled off his lap when he slipped onto his side hitting his head on the floor.

"C'mon big boy lets go somewhere private" Betty said in suddenly a deep booming voice, he began pulling the shocked Nappa's arm trying to lead him away.

Radditz had managed to control his laughing fit for the time being he was sat back upright with the pretty girl sitting back on his lap; his tail was wrapped protectively around her and she was laying back against his muscular chest as she stroked his tail affectionately. They were both watching Nappa trying to wrestle 'big Betty' off him.

"Hey babe, what's your name? How bad does that sound?" Radditz confessed as he moved a tiny strand of black hair out of her face. The girl was a Sayan that's for sure she had the tail; she had green ivory coloured eyes and a petite build.

She giggled quietly and shyly replied.

"Mishka" then she added "I know your names Radditz, I had a crush on you ever since I was fifteen." she said quietly as she petted his strong soft appendage. He began to make funny soothing noises; he liked what she was doing – a lot.

"So your… 18?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Close. 19" "well I was 19 when I was killed by the Oceanic disaster. I was one of the victims who died," she said quietly as she stopped stroking his tail.

"That sucks. Im only lets see… about 10 years older than you. I was killed by my brother" Radditz laughed trying to force her hands back onto his tail which was still around her waist.

"Let me get you something to eat" Mishka said pulling his tail off her and getting up off the dusty ground. She walked over to see what she could find to eat. The others who had came over to watch the scene with Nappa had already gone. The fun had gone and now all their was; was Nappa punching the air out of pleading male.

"You know he could do with some of my anger management classes." Cell said to King Cold about the bald Sayan; as he began to play a game of cards with him.

X A few hours later x

Vegeta and Bulma were curled up under the duvets and sheets. Both were fast asleep, Vegeta was holding Bulma protectively in his arms; she was resting her head on his strong chest. The duvets were covering them both up entirely they looked extremely cosy.

The ends of strawberries littered the wooden floor, and chocolate sauce had been spilt all over the ground. The champagne was still half full they had only had a glass each, this was perched on the windowsill, sun was filtering through the window and a small breeze was blowing gently.

"They look cute" one of the intruders said pouting.

"Cute. I don't care that boy is going to pay for making a mockery of me" another voice growled angrily.

The person of the first voice walked over to the window and opened it wide, the songs of birds singing filtered gently into the room on the warm breeze.

Vegeta shuffled slightly under the covers then snuggled up closer to his wife; her familiar scent was comforting and made him feel warm inside. Completely unaware of the two strangers presence.

"Why cant we leave them be? There in love!"

"Listen to me. Shut your mouth if you don't want to have an early death." Warned the angry voice.

"But- I am dead duh"

"Oh forget this plan. Plan B" the second voice said sighing;

**Disclaimer: Hope you liked the new chapter! Just want to say some thankyous! **

**Dannyboy! Hey my cousin! Glad your ankles better now! Stupid trampoline ;-) Bike ride this weekend if it doesn't piss with rain! Thanks for the help!**

Debje – hehe thanks so much for your great feedback! You bring a smile to my face ;-) I was glad to help you out anymore questions don't hesitate to ask! Thanks again without your support I don't think I'd be enjoying writing this fic as much as I do! Thankyou! Hope you like the new chappy let me know


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"VEGETAAAAAAA" A deep voice screamed out, this was followed by a loud crash that could have rivalled a volcano erupting especially to the sleepy Sayan Prince and his wife.

The Sayan prince and the blue heiress both awoke instantly; Bulma clutched Vegeta by the neck, he had jumped up and formed a Ki in the palm of his hand ready to blow whoever had dared disturb him into a billion pieces.

"Not likely to work Princey" said the first voice, with that a strange unfamiliar blue ray was fired directly at Vegeta and Bulma, he dived in front of Bulma blocking it easily knocking her back onto the bed and deflecting it away from them. Quickly he turned Super Sayan ready to kill whoever had dared to attack them both, he was not just angry at being disturbed after his lovemaking session he was also feeling very protective towards his mate.

"Now that was dangerous sir," the second person said, to the first, they sounded more timid and quiet than the first. They added "If that would have hit the blue haired lady…"

Vegeta suddenly froze to the spot, there was nothing he could do he seemed almost paralysed. Trying his hardest to powerup all he achieved was getting out of breath, His hair turned from the brilliant golden blonde back to his natural black hair colour as he powered down. The Sayan hadn't felt so defensive in all his life. He believed the ray had been deflected but it seemed it had soaked into his body somehow.

"You bastards… what have you DONE TO HIM!" Bulma screamed as she held her husband who was beginning to sweat, his temperature was rising incredibly as if he had a nasty fever. He began to feel as if he was losing consciousness, the bedroom wouldn't stop spinning. His strong muscular legs gave way as he collapsed back onto the bed; it felt as though he was on some extremely strong drugs.

'Who… what are you?" Vegeta asked shakily as he laid down on the pillow, it felt as if all his power had been drained like he was an old man. He couldn't even see Bulma who was next to him on the mattress everything seemed so far away.

"We were sent to get you buster. Yamma's really not happy with you for your recent show of behaviour. He gave us this cool new toy to use on you. Our information was correct though, yep it's true I am a genius! We thought you'd go looking for your bitch and I was right." The first person said finally standing out of the shadows of the room.

"Yamcha… it cant be!" Bulma said awed, suddenly completely forgetting about Vegeta who was powerless and in much pain lying on the bed next to her. She felt pure rage seep through her blood when she saw her ex. The second figure crawled out behind Yamcha, it was a strange green alien that didn't stand much taller than Guldo maybe he was even a relative.

"Oh I see you've got a new bum boy," Bulma growled, as she looked over to the little green alien who seemed to be keeping his distance. Yamcha was laughing like a maniac he had the strange gun clenched tightly in his grip.

"Look at your poor defenceless monkey… _this _is what happens when a monkey takes what is mine and thinks he can get away with it…" Yamcha leaned over to Vegeta who was panting and seemed to be struggling to breath, whatever was in the blue ray was taking its toll he was a super sayan and now he'd been reduced to being more defenceless than a newborn baby.

"Yam… Yamma said not to use the gun that strong…" warned the short green man as he eyed up the Sayan who seemed to be dying even though he was already dead. The Halo above his head was fading with each painful breath he took. Bulma looked back to Vegeta and a pang was felt in her heart, never in her life had she seen him so weak and in so much pain must this have been what he felt like when Freeza killed him. It was taboo to talk about it back on Earth; he was obviously ashamed of getting killed by his old master Bulma could only try and imagine what kind of life the young Prince had led.

"I mean it Yamcha I'm warning you… if anything happens to him." Warned Bulma as she lifted up Vegeta's head off the pillow and cradled him in her arms, he had an extremely high fever and appeared to be slipping in and out of consciousness. What scared her even more was if the gun had done this much damage to the legendary prince then what would it have done to a mere human like her. The only thing that made her feel slightly at ease was the fact that Vegeta was already dead so this suffering couldn't last much longer.

"He's already dead _princess " _Yamcha said his voice seemed different; he skilfully flicked the gun from hand to hand smiling to himself.

"I'm sorry let me explain…" the little green alien said as he touched his halo above his head in a nervous manner. Bulma glared straight at the little man blocking her ex from her view.

"Well what the hell is going on!" screamed Bulma, Vegeta cringed at the loud noise she had just made, he was still conscious enough to pick up the conversation and she made had made him jump; she tenderly stroked his hair in a soothing manner.

"King Yamma commanded for two people to go and find him." The green alien said quietly then he continued. "Me and Yamcha were the first two with worthy power levels to take the task in hand, the others are all back on Earth. It seems Yamma ordered Yamcha because he was the next in the queue to get assessed on if he's going up or down…" the green man gulped nervously.

Bulma was getting more agitated by the second, Yamcha was glaring dangerously at her and Vegeta but let the dead alien continue his tale.

"GET ON WITH IT" Bulma shouted angrily thumping the bedpost in frustration; poor Vegeta shuddered at the impact. At that second she had the rage of a true Sayan, if anyone was going to piss her off they were going to pay _very _dearly.

"Vegeta escaped from Yamma he didn't want to go back down to HFIL, his majesty was not happy, he gave us that gun instructed us to find him shoot him and then bring his body back to get transported to HFIL." He said in one breath very quickly.

Bulma's eyes grew wide when she realised the problem, what she had overheard earlier had been her husband escaping the wrath of King Yamma, she couldn't blame him he had been to HFIL before and it hadn't been pretty from the stories he had told her. Small prison cells, overcrowding, little sleep, small amounts of food. Quite the contrast to where Bulma had been sent.

"So… he will be okay." She whispered as her husband groaned to himself as if he was having a nightmare, he had sweat beading down his forehead, the blankets had fallen onto the floor revealing them both in nothing but underwear.

"Depends, Yamma was really angry. This was only supposed to paralyse him miss Bulma I assume?" the alien said politely as he took a step closer.

"Paralyse him! He looks like he's dying!" Bulma said stroking his hair once again, this seemed to comfort him and he smiled to himself in a cute way. Tears began to well up in her eyes, she was scared she was going to lose him, their was no way he could die but if he did get sent to Home for Infinite Losers she may never get to see him again.

Yamcha interrupted rudely. "Don't worry Bulma babe! I'm a shoulder to cry on! You don't need him I am ten times the man he is just look how strong the mighty monkey really is!" he took a step closer this was a big mistake…

Bulma lunged forwards knocking Yamcha directly into the wooden wall of the house, she had never felt power like it before in her life; fuelled by blind rage she began to throw strong punches at her childhood sweetheart, he was shocked he couldn't even move, the gun fell out of his grasp landing on the floor as Bulma continued to pummel him.

"You Bastard. You fucking bastard." She sobbed in between punches, suddenly the fight swivelled around as Yamcha began to fight back; he pulled Bulma's arms, as she was about to strike his bloody nose again. Easily he twisted her arms and slammed her back against the wall pinning her down. He pushed all his body weight onto her and leaned so close his breath was meeting hers. Bulma could feel his groin tightening at this close contact she could do nothing but close her eyes…

_**Disclaimer: how did you like that chapter? **_

_**I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update! I'm going to be honest the past fortnight or so I have had really bad writers block, I want to take the time to thank you all for reviewing everyone who took the time to review spurred me out of it! Thanks! **_

_**Usually I write a comment to everybody that reviewed but I am sorry I really don't have time today I've now got to rush off out! Thanks everyone for your feedback especially DEBJE one of my favourite fans! You always bring a smile to my face! I'll try and update as soon as possible if I know you liked the new chapter! What's going to happen to poor Bulma? What a twat Yamcha seems to be!**_

_**R/R please! Thanks!**_

_**Surfs up!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Bulma closed her eyes as she felt Yamcha push harder and firmer against her fragile little body; he was crushing against her with such force she was struggling to catch breathes.

Frantically she kicked out hoping to catch one of the desert bandit's legs, but to no avail; he simply caught her thighs and slammed her back against the wall in an even more painful and struggling position.

His hands began to wonder up her legs which were now jammed in between him and his legs; she could do nothing as he began to rip her tiny underwear from her; he leant closer as she pushed her hands down to prevent him pulling her panties down any further, then let out an ear-splitting loud scream.

The little alien that had accompanied Yamcha in with the attack on Vegeta was now running down the pathway of the little house, he had never been in a fight in his life and he didn't want to be a part of what the evil human being was doing to the girl. Part of him wanted to go to her rescue but he had no chance of surviving a fight with him, even though he was already dead. He didn't particularly want to go to find out what happens to a person when they get killed in the next dimension.

Sprinting down the small causeway and through the flowers, he rushed until he was out of view from the quaint little house; panting he dropped against a tree to get his breath back, whilst trying to block out the screams from the little wooden house in the distance.

"So you're telling me that just through that gap is freedom?" Cooler said pointing past a strange looking fruit tree to a gape in the rock face.

Cooler had been exploring the underworld with one of the ogres; they had become quite friendly in the past couple of days; the blue ogre that had fooled Goku years before into going through the hole was the same ogre that was showing it to Freeza's older brother.

"You bet, you'll be free as a… well angel" the blue ogre said scratching his horn, he'd never personally been through the hole himself but he'd heard legends from the inmates and other demons. The hole apparently led the person back to the world they came from.

Cooler glanced from the left and the right suspiciously; it just seemed too good to be true, for years he had looked for a way to break out of HFIL and it was just a few hours hike from where he lived. Once he could tell his father and sibling about the crevice they would finally be able to be the strongest force in the entire universe. Not even a super Sayan could stop them. Just as the ogre said they would be free as angels.

"Hey human king." Shouted a Sayan to a former king of England.

"Excuse me. I am King Henry the eighth to you peasants. I demand that you show me all your females so I can find one to produce me offspring," growled the chubby king to the much younger Sayan.

"You don't have a chance in hell old man. I just thought I'd come and ask if you wanted to take bets on the fight that's now about to kick off?" said the young Sayan holding out a book of tickets.

"How dare you… I'll have you executed."

"So that's 21 to 2 on Freeza winning. How much are you willing to bet sir?" the guy said completely choosing to ignore the angry king.

"GETOUT GETOUT GETOUT!!!!!!!!!" shouted Henry as he slammed his fist down on a wooden table knocking his glass of drink onto the floor, it shattered immediately on impact with the ground making an awful mess.

Smirking the Sayan quickly grabbed a bag of coins and a bottle that was perched on a shelf and quickly exited the cell of the former King, there was nothing the dictator could do except watch the teenage tearaway sprint into the distance with his bottle of highly expensive vintage wine.

In a blind rage he head butted the concrete wall of his prison cell and knocked himself out, unbeknownst to Hitler and Freeza next door who were still in the middle of a very passionate lovemaking session, Hitler was busy doing the most perverted things with Freeza's long white tail. Freeza was lying with his front on the floor and his eyes closed, his arms were tied to some chains on the far wall, every move Hitler made, forced a murmur of pleasure from the evil tyrant.

Bulma let out a painful rasp of breath as Yamcha pushed most of his weight onto her tiny ribs, nobody had came to her aid, Vegeta was out for the count and she was in the middle of nowhere. This was supposed to be the nice dimension, not home for infinite losers; and here she was about to get raped by her psycho ex lover.

"Veget-a…" she squeezed out, before Yamcha shut her up with a forceful kiss to the mouth.

Bulma choked, never before in her life had she felt so sick; he tasted repulsive and their was nothing she could do about it; squirming under his weight again she tried to pull her hands up to protect herself this just made it worse as Yamcha bent one of her hands back without trying; he still had his eyes closed and was embracing the disgusting pro longing kiss.

"You won't get away… I'm going to make you pay dearly my sweet…" he growled as he opened his eyes and pulled away from the kiss.

Bulma flicked her head back angrily her long blue hair brushing irritatingly into her eyes.

"You fucking coward." Bulma hollered slamming herself angrily against the back wall; Yamcha was still pressing her against.

The whole house shook with the impact made, but neither budged an inch; Vegeta was still lying on the bed and was knocked out cold. He was paralysed all over now and the halo above his head was fading at a rapid rate. Bulma didn't even know if he was aware of the torture she was enduring, she seriously doubted it. Yamcha like a vicious animal began frantically trying to feel her right breast through her bra; He'd already succeeded in ripping her panties half down.

It was all she was wearing after her love making session with Vegeta, she was grateful she was wearing that it had only been because she'd gotten cold afterwards.

Tears began to spill down her cheeks uncontrollably as Yamcha's hands wandered inside her underwear top like that of a young teenager. Perverted wasn't the way to put it; he was acting like an evil monster preying on a small child. She daren't even open her eyes; this was her one big fear: getting raped. It was the things of her nightmares and for some reason call it a psychic premonition it was always Yamcha trying to force himself upon her but before he could go this far she had always woken up.

This time it was very much realistic, it felt one hundred times worse than her nightmares, she was supposed to be in heaven and here was this beast reducing her to nothing never had she felt so weak and defenceless.

"Well Princess. How about you open up your pretty little eyes." Yamcha grinned, his scar becoming more distinctive as the light reflected through the open window onto his face.

_**Disclaimer: I know, I'm so mean to leave it there! ; D hehe. **_

_**What did you think of that chapter? Sorry admittingly now I read through it; it's quite short! Sorry! I will update as soon as I possible can promise!**_

_**I want to thank everybody that took the time to review the last chapter! **_

**Anyways I really would be so happy if you could take the time to press the iddy biddy button at the bottom of the web page that says submit review ;D **

**Poor Bulma??? What's going to happen to her! What a creep Yamcha is, he's raping the princess of all Sayans! Can anyone think of a suitable punishment for him!!!???**

**Surfs up!**

**P.S have a real good Easter everybody! Don't eat too many chocolate eggs ( I know I wont I cant eat chocolate :- ( not fair it gives me headaches.) **

**I have had a nicer headache after drinking vodka and red bull that's saying something! **

**Please leave a review and give me some sympathy on easter day it will make me feel so much better when my family all gobble their eggs. Lol. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Pink clouds swarmed around Vegeta as he was seemingly running through the endless fog that appeared out of nowhere; he could hear his mate calling his name from the distance but it echoed around him getting louder then dimming again.

Sweat was beading down Vegeta's head as he increased his strength and sprinted forwards with all the might his legs could muster; for some reason he had lost the ability to fly…

"**Vegeta…." **

The voice sounded around him again, it was almost pleading, and sounded awfully seductive to the Sayan prince. Blinking; all of a sudden he decided to look down and then wished he hadn't. He was running along a rocky mountain crop a huge deep canyon was below him.

The last thing the Sayan prince could remember before appearing in this spot, was being shot with a strange kind of laser beam; maybe it was a transporter and it had taken him to a strange world far away. Feeling above his head he felt that the yellow halo had indeed disappeared;

'It cant be… I'm alive…" Vegeta said aloud, he had stopped running immediately when he'd realised the deathly fall around him. Now he was just standing dazed and confused. Something seriously wasn't right, and he didn't like it.

His balance felt somewhat different to say the least, something was giving him more control over his movements he felt more agile and in control; he had almost forgotten what this felt like.

A magical gentle breeze blew through the pink fog around his back making him shiver, the light wind made the new appendage on his back instinctively puff out to help keep warm. Looking behind it was when he realised….

"My… My tail." Groaning Vegeta realised what must be happening, it explained everything. The big pink blob Buu, the great sex, getting paralysed by the laser, the pink fog, the strange old lady…

He was dreaming. This whole thing was just one big nightmare. He was back on Earth snuggled up under the duvet having a nightmare, more than likely due to eating cheese too late at night again!

Slapping himself he tried to wake up, this dream was beginning to get stupid no more late night grilled cheese sandwiches. He didn't even understand what was going on now; it must be nearly time to wake up and arouse his mate to make him breakfast…

"Stupid Cheese… why is everything on this mud ball so pathetic…" grumbled Vegeta as he deliberately bit his right arm, but to no avail; he just wasn't waking up, this was beginning to get dull very quickly.

"Come on Bulma, you know you want this as much as me…" Yamcha hissed as he pinned Bulma down yet further; nothing could be done, she'd even stopped trying to keep her legs closed, his power was just too overwhelming. She'd never felt a fear like this in her life, it made being turned into a frog on Namek almost appealing.

"Please…. I have a child." Bulma pleaded, trying to change tactics, if only her son was here now; he would protect her.

Yamcha laughed manically, "Yeah yeah. You do. A right brat as well, definitely takes after his dim-witted father. I wonder if he's going to sleep around like his mother?" His voice was cold and icy, making Bulma shiver each time she heard it; Vegeta could be dead for all she knew; he seemed to have stopped turning and was almost resting now. Tears fell back down her cheek hitting the floor like tiny droplets of rain; what happened to people when they are already dead? Does that mean she'd never see or speak to her mate again? Thinking about it, Bulma couldn't live without him; this was Yamcha's fault and now he had the audacity to rape her and call _her _the whore.

Fury seethed through the heiresses veins; it was a new feeling altogether. She thought she'd felt rage but this was completely different; it must have been close to how her husband felt towards Freeza, maybe she was even more furious and hate filled.

"You dirty son of a bitch! Fucking die you bastard!" lashing out she managed to catch one of his legs leaving a deep gash; she'd never moved so quick in her life.

For a split second the desert bandit let go, then with full force he slammed her onto the wooden slates knocking her unconscious. Blood began to seep out of a small gash on the side of her head.

Grinning evilly to himself he looked at Bulma as if she was his prey he had just caught in a trap.

"This is to teach you a lesson for cheating on me with that pathetic prince of yours…"

Vegeta could sense a power more evil than he'd ever felt in his life, it boomed through him like ten thousand volts of electricity. That was when he knew it wasn't part of this weird dream; his instincts told him it was real, his mate was in big trouble and he was stuck in this strange dream world place.

His first reflection was Freeza had re-appeared and was harming Bulma, this fuelled him more; angrily he generated all the energy he could muster and began to glow the familiar golden colour; his newly generated tail puffed out larger and began to move with the breeze he was generating.

"_Bulma…. Stay with me…"_ Vegeta thought in his head; unbeknownst to him Bulma could hear every word, even though she was still unconscious; Yamcha was taking this time to admire his handy work before he forced her into every sex act he'd wanted to do since first becoming her boyfriend all those years back when they were kids.

Vegeta could sense Bulma wasn't awake, suddenly a vision hit him full in the face; he could see the filthy weak earthling drooling over her half naked body. He knew this was a mental picture of what was happening in reality; the bond he had formed with Bulma when they mated all those years back was becoming stronger by the second, he'd been able to talk telepathically to her before, and also they read each others minds occasionally but this was a new thing all together. They could only do these special techniques when feeling strong emotions or when in trouble, it was something that came from the Sayan side of the relationship.

Rage he never believed he could feel, jolted through him as he began to power up even more, around him began to turn red matching his temper, after seeing his mate in such a defenceless position he only had one thing that flowed to his mind now. His Sayan instincts hit him full blow. He wanted to beat Yamcha within every inch of his pathetic afterlife, and then he was going to do it again.

Yamcha was going to pay dearly, Vegeta vowed to that… Thinking of the image again he felt a new bout of anger seep through his veins, joining with the first. His tail began to flicker with the rage that was building up, his heart pounding faster and the adrenaline pumping through his body. It was _his _mate. _His _the Sayan prince, and that weak double-crossing freak was touching her and harming her, all Vegeta wanted to do was protect what was rightfully his, and eradicate the threat in the most painful way possible.

A blinding flash of blue and golden energy shot from the orphaned Sayan prince hurtling towards Yamcha, once the light had cleared; Vegeta was standing amongst the ruins of the bed he had been lying on, in super Sayan four form. He appeared to be in his normal state and his height and stance hadn't changed, but his body was coated in a new crimson fur apart from his chest and hands. His iris in his eyes had turned turquoise instead of the mysterious dark eyes he once entailed; also his upper and lower eyelids were red to match the fur adding to the new super strong look. To Yamcha's shock Vegeta's tail had also returned, crimson in color as well.

Vegeta looked ready to kill and much stronger than ever, Yamcha knew he had made a big boo boo by taking up King Yamma's offer.

The look he was giving Yamcha was so cold it could freeze lava, Vegeta was back in action and he looked really really livid…

* * *

_**Disclaimer: Sorry it's a short chapter! I felt it better to leave it here, next chapter I PROMISE will feature lots of 'home for infinite losers' and also Yamcha bashing. I know you all want him to see his comeuppance haha! Vegeta just turned SS4! **_

_**Review if you can please, it will be so much appreciated! **_


	7. Chapter 7

**H.F.I.L**

**Disclaimer: I just thought I'd state a couple of things quickly, whilst writing this fanfic H.F.I.L I don't want to cause any offence to anybody so please if you are easily offended then well… don't be! These are not any of my opinions, I know most of you are enjoying reading it but whatever you do just AGAIN please don't take offence. Okay… now read and review! AND OF COURSE ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

"Vegeta… have mercy please… don't kill me…." Pleaded Yamcha when he realised how much trouble he had gotten himself into. Vegeta looked really furious, his newly generated tail was flickering intensely.

Bulma was on the floor with her clothes half ripped, and was in a great deal of pain; her arm felt like it had been snapped in two and her ribs were in so much pain she couldn't move from the floor.

Forcing herself to look up, as Yamcha screamed like a little girl she suddenly couldn't take her eyes off the strange new furry Vegeta standing before her.

Vegeta stepped closer to Yamcha, who was cowering up against the far side of the wall,

"Well my friend… I guess I'll be seeing you in the next dimension…" Vegeta chuckled to himself then formed a bright blue ball of energy in his right hand.

He'd never felt so much power in his life, something had happened whilst he was having that mysterious dream after being shot. Maybe it was something to do about his mate being attacked by the pathetic imbecile or perhaps the rays in the gun had aided him into becoming this super strong being.

Not even Kakkorot had surpassed this level of power; he had only just become a super Sayan two, now Vegeta was beyond that he needed to try it out on someone and Yamcha seemed to be the best target in the little wooden room.

"Vegeta…. What happened to you…" Bulma whispered to herself as she pulled her knees up to her neck with her good arm. It felt much more comforting and safe, Her ribs were still in a great deal of pain, she needed some medical attention urgently.

She couldn't help but think he had perhaps had a reaction to becoming a Majjin earlier that day when he had destroyed the world tournament stand. Thinking twice she noticed he didn't have the 'M' imprinted on his forehead.

Perhaps he was coming to her rescue, her prince in shining armour was back! Only now he was coated in red fur, he looked so cute and cuddly! His eyes on the otherhand were cold and dark, something was different about his eyes; the kind of look he had on Earth when he and Nappa had just released the Saybermen.

"Please. Vegeta, me and you… we're in the same boat…. I was bad once, you were bad once… I didn't mean… No wait… what I mean is I wasn't doing what you thought I was doing…. HONEST!"

Vegeta raised his eyebrows in annoyance, usually he would enjoy his prey squirming before he killed it but this was an exception. Yamcha was going to pay dearly for touching what was his and only his.

Hitler grabbed the bottle of wine and pulled the cork out, pouring himself and Freeza a glass each.

Freeza meanwhile was concentrating on attacking the mosquito, which had been stinging him all throughout their latest making love session.

Grabbing a strange bulging plastic device he began to vigorously swipe at the little insect. He stopped when he noticed something sticky and white at the top of the contraption.

The insect landed on his forehead and stung him again, this time much harder; it hurt a lot, but he was to gobsmacked with his latest find.

"What is this!?" demanded the Icejiin lizard as he held up the device, which was nothing other than a recently used vibrator.

Now reduced down to a smoking pile of ashes and a red bloody skidmark, was formerly Yamcha. Vegeta stood admiring his handywork with his arms folded across his chest; his tail was moving with the gently breeze he had created by producing the biggest big bang of his life.

Looking around, he was surprised to see that he had annihilated most of the afterworld in the process, as far as the eye could see was a flattened scene of devastation, Bulma was behind him, and now had her head tucked into her legs out of fear; her long blue hair had indeed been messed up by the wave of energy, she looked like she'd just woken up from a very rough night of sex.

"Woman… you can come out now." Vegeta said gently, he sounded calmer than he usually was when he spoke to her, it felt good letting out all that raw energy especially on such an idiotic waste of space like Yamcha, and he'd wanted to do that for a very long time.

Bulma timidly raised her head, to say she was scared was an underestimation; Vegeta had been so powerful; how in anyworld had she survived that blast? The earth was more than likely destroyed it had been that strong.

"Are you…" Vegeta paused before continuing. "Ok.."

Now Bulma knew this was a dream, first the big pink bubblegum ball machine Buu had killed her, then Yamcha had almost raped her, and now Vegeta had changed into a red fluffy SuperSayan with long hair _and_ he was being nice.

Raising her eyes she realised what must have happened.

'_I bet I've eaten cheese before bed again. I'm always telling Vegeta not too I'm such a hypocrite.'_ She didn't mean it but Vegeta actually heard this conversation, as her voice boomed through his mind.

They had formed a strong telepathic bond like when they had mated for the first time all those years back. Now it had been revived, he was surprised himself.

Smiling, he realised she must have been okay to have such stupid emblematic thoughts.

Then he concentrated on answering her question.

'_No. You didn't eat cheese, what's this woman; you're admitting you're a hypocrite? I knew you ate that yellow squashy stuff sometimes before coming to bed, and all that moaning you did to me in the bedroom about it. Bad princess.'_

'_Vegeta! Get out of my head! You know I hate that you're so rude' _Bulma thought back angrily,

'_So… was the sex we had earlier that great you thought it was a dream?' _Vegeta pried, Bulma could feel him smirking at her but she persisted in refusing to look into his eyes.

'_Talk to me properly if you're going to; stop messing with my mind you geek!' _Bulma challenged, as she felt his gaze upon her deepen.

She honestly thought it was one big dream, and that she was going to wake with the sunshine booming down on her and Vegeta training out in the GR as usual.

"So… was the sex great or what?" this time he chose for once to obey Bulma's wishes and said it out loud, she still seemed too fragile.

"Stop thinking about your body functions princey and help me wake up." Bulma growled as she finally lifted her head from her hands and looked back into Vegeta's eyes.

"Tell me this, if you were sleeping can you honestly feel pain like you are now." Vegeta said gently, stepping closer to his wife who was still curled up on the floor.

Bulma thought about what he'd just said, and strangely it must have been true; the pain that was throbbing through her ribs was almost as bad as giving birth to a child again. Her arm wasn't feeling much better; perhaps it had been some seriously strong cheese?

"Who am I kidding." Bulma said aloud, she knew herself that what Vegeta said must have been true, she'd never had a dream in which she'd felt real pain before. She truly must be dead and he must have just disintegrated her former lover.

"How much pain are you in?" he said quietly, secretly he was worried about his mate; he had recovered just at the right time, if he would have been any later he dared not think of the consequences; still Yamcha had beaten Bulma quite badly, at one point she was even unconscious. The part that made Vegeta's blood boil most however was the fact that the weakling was going to rape her, he had already touched her indecently he could sense it; but he hadn't had his entire way with her.

Bulma also seemed different; she must have been so terrified it didn't feel thinking about, and by the looks of her eyes she was also in a great deal of pain from her injuries she had sustained from the scarfaced twat.

She didn't answer his question, instead she attempted to put on a brave face and pull herself up off the floor.

It didn't take her long before she buckled on her knees and fell backwards. Pain shot straight through her upper chest and her bones made a sickening cracking sound.

"Woman, don't be an idiot all your life, even I can see you've got some nasty damage." Vegeta said in a gentle tone as he bent down towards his mate so he was level with her.

Suddenly he wished he hadn't killed Yamcha so easily, he hadn't meant to after all; he figured if he kept him alive and tortured him it would be a much longer revenge on his behalf, but his newfound power had gotten the better of him. Yes Yamcha had been in pain when he died at the hands of the colossal sized big bang but it was still too fast for Vegeta's liking, he would have preferred to rip his internal organs out one by one; just after cutting off his valuable limbs and maybe perhaps stripping his skin off. All of course while he would be tied up to something and fully awake to feel and see every painful move.

If there was one thing that the Sayan prince had learnt whilst being a space pirate that was actually beneficial, was how to torture a person. It was away with the old fashioned theories such as 'Chinese water torture' and in with torture Sayan style.

"Vegeta im fine, honest…." Bulma said quietly, a single tear slid down her cheek as she clutched her left side with her one good arm.

"Woman, you always moan at me for not taking my wounds seriously, now stop putting on this brave face and come with me, if nobody will treat you then I suppose I'll have to." Vegeta grumbled as he tenderly held out his huge fluffy arm for her.

Bulma grinned to her mate, he had a good point; whenever he wounded himself in the gravity room she always nursed him back to health and made sure his wounds were clean even when he did sometimes put up a fight.

Now it was her turn.

Taking his arm with her good upper limb she managed to hoist herself up, pain seeped all around her chest with every heavy breath she took.

Vegeta looked on in concern as Bulma's appearance changed to a pale white, where she once had tanned skin like his own, she now looked white as if she had the flu. Obviously Bulma wasn't as good at coping with the pain as he would have been in the situation but still. In battle he had broken many more bones and achieved so much more internal damage but still walked away laughing.

However Bulma was not a Sayan, she did not have the unique fast healing ability as he, and she also had never been in a genuine fight before or had any real damage.

Humans were not born and bred killing machines like the Sayans, they were much more weaker and concentrated more on their technology and machines; they hadn't even enough ki to fly without a motor device attached to them. With the exception of Gohan's stupid new girlfriend whom he had given lessons to.

"Vegeta… thanks I owe you one big time." Bulma wheezed out as she felt that thundering pain pummel through her chest again.

If only they had a regen tank around, it would do the job perfectly; they were designed to bring back half dead warriors so a few broken bones should take no time whatsoever. Unfortunately for them both Vegeta seriously doubted that in the after world they had such technology. After all everybody was already dead so what difference did it make?

Yamcha looked about his new home, something was very different… the fluffy clouds had gone and now was replaced by a lake filled with blood, the pretty fields of flowers were now spiky thorns and the little wooden log-houses was now prison cells with huge metal bars.

He knew exactly where he had ended up; he'd heard the stories from Goku. Home for infinite losers.

Obviously he had just experienced what it was like to die when you're already dead, the desert bandit had been sent way down to the lowest point of the earth; looking up into the dark thundery sky he could make out the faint image of snake way behind some of the darkest looking clouds he had ever seen.

A noise in the distance disrupted him from his concentration, it sounded like a group of ancient tribal people, drums were banging and the occasional high-pitched "Ieyayayayayaya" was called out.

"I don't believe this…." Yamcha groaned slapping his forehead, the death had been surprisingly quick Vegeta wasn't exactly merciful and it had hurt a hell of a lot as his body got fried up in the huge power surge, but he had deserved every bit of it.

If only he had gotten rid of Vegeta when he was paralysed and raped Bulma a little quicker; then he would have finally gotten to have sex with her after all those years; and he'd also be alive now or living in the lovely afterworld nevertheless.

"What in King Kai's name is going on out there!?" shouted King Yamma as he banged his huge balled fist onto the large desk before him.

Something had happened outside and it didn't sound good, luckily his new conservatory and bathroom was still standing after his office had been rocked by what seemed to be a large earthquake only they weren't on Earth.

"Trishco, we aren't due for another big bang just yet are we?" Yamma said as he literally breathed smoke out through his nostrils, if he hadn't been born red in the face he certainly would be now. He felt like he was about to explode, the stress from the job was starting to get to him and he really needed a cold glass of water.

"No.. I don't believe so sir, the next natural occurrence is going to be a new ice age… big bang isn't due for a while yet, oh - we do have a huge meteor sometime soon maybe that was it; perhaps it was early." A little blue demon called out as he tapped away on his laptop screen.

"No…. it didn't sound like a meteor, the last one of those I had, it wiped out most of the dinosaurs…. This was very dissimilar…" King Yamma said fiddling with his huge beard as he concentrated on working out what had happened.

"Would you like me to go and check it out?" offered Trishco lifting his pointed head up away from the screen.

"No, no…. I think perhaps I'll go and get some fresh air and clear my head, I might see if good old King Kai knows anything, its been centuries since I've seen him. I wont be long, you cover the desk while I'm gone." Yamma growled softly as he stood up off his chair.

It creaked as his weight lifted off and the legs settled back down to normal without the huge pressure of the giant.

Trishco nodded his head in acceptance and went back to his computer, it was really quiet at the moment it hadn't been this dead for years, perhaps because Buu had already destroyed most of the earth's population? they had a huge rush in that morning but now not a single sole was about, all had been summoned to either hell or heaven.

To say it was nice was an underestimation, finally some time to get on with the filing and paperwork!

"Adolf, I demand to know now what this is!?" Freeza shouted angrily as he waved the vibrator in the short snappy Germans face.

Hitler began to make some awkward snuffled noises under his little square moustache; he thought that Mussolini had taken the device back with him earlier, obviously not.

"I don't know…. Me never seen it before…"

Freeza glared angrily at his lover and then waved the device right under Hitler's nose wiping the cream onto his moustache.

"You're lying! I am _Freeza_ the greatest lord ever to have lived, how dare you try and hide the truth from me! NOW WHAT IS IT!"

"Dildo!" Hitler screamed back quickly snatching it off Freeza and throwing it out of the prison door into the dust outside, he had surprised the Icejiin with this sudden outburst; and had thrown it like it was a world war two bomb just been dropped from a plane.

"Why do you have that disgusting device in _my _cell, am I not giving you enough or am I just not up to scratch!" hollered Freeza as he raised his long white tail up and grabbed Hitler by the throat raising him off the ground.

"No… I explain, it mine I use on myself." Hitler called out as he squirmed.

"YOU LIE. WHO'S…. WHO'S…" Freeza hollered before breaking down in tears. "Soshy is that…?"

He dropped Hitler to the floor with a thud, as Freeza leaned against the stonewall for support; never in his life had he ever felt feelings like he was showing towards the evil short human, in fact Adolf was one of the only people that ever consented to having sex with the icejiin and actually enjoyed it.

"Soshy?" Hitler whispered quietly confused was this a word the English used? Walking over to Freeza he put his arm around the lizard's neck and began to rub soothingly. "What does that mean my friend?"

"SOSHY! You know…. What those horrid monkeys put in my drink earlier! Yes, that stuff that comes out when we make love."

"Oh you mean ejaculation." Hitler said suddenly understanding, then he began to sweat; Freeza knew it wasn't his. He couldn't ever tell him that Mussolini was involved; he couldn't see Freeza willing to share him with anybody.

"Come with me, I tell you all over a nice drink of wine." Hitler replied quickly as he got up and walked over to the glasses of wine he had poured out earlier just before Freeza had found the toy.

Sighing the lizard gave up, after all there might be a good reason as to why the sex toy was planted in the cell, maybe Hitler really did need more sex. He hoped this was the case; it could then be easily cured.

King Yamma stepped out of his office and breathed in the fresh breeze; it was a nice revitalising change to the sticky hot office he had been stuck in for weeks he prepared to transport himself to the faraway little planet of his friend King Kai.

Deciding first of all he needed to find a large cold glass of juice he pulled out of the stance continued up the dusty path in the opposite direction of snakeway; and through the golden gates leading to the official after world.

Opening his eyes after taking in an extra deep breath of the fresh air, he immediately closed them again; something big had kicked off.

As far as he could see there was nothing but flattened piles of wood and flowers; everything had been squashed right down to pancake form; what was left of the little houses were smouldering piles of black ashes and small plumes of smoke.

"Majjin Buu… he's here." King Yamma growled in frustration as he angrily pulled on the horns on top of his head. This day was just going from bad to worse, he really needed to look at retiring early demon king or not.

Squinting he could just make out a little alien in the distance who looked in a great deal of pain, deciding to go and find out what had happened and where the pink monster had disappeared off to; King Yamma set off through the squashed clouds at a rate even he didn't know he could move at, being careful not to fall through the patches of cloud that had opened up.

* * *

**Disclaimer: OOOO so Vegeta has burnt Yamcha to a crisp, hmmm Yamma thinks that all the mess is because of Buu…. When really it's a certain Sayan prince…. **

**Wonder how Freeza is going to take being cheated on? The next chapter all will be revealed! Lots of nice juicy stuff to come!**

**I want to thank everybody who reviewed the last chapter a special thanks to Debje my favourite little friend and also to whitelighter princess Bulma without you two!…. well your both so great! I'm glad you are enjoying H.F.I.L as much as I am writing it - it's so fun you don't understand!**

**Please could you all R/R its so nice to hear feedback and its kind of polite too in a way and I know your all lovely deep down ;0) **

**Thankyas**

**Surfs up!**


	8. Chapter 8

**HFIL **

**Chapter Eight **

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS A SAIYAN?" King Yamma roared as he stamped his feet causing the remaining clouds to crumble and crack a little more.

"I think… it was prince Vegeta your majesty…." Stuttered the alien as he bowed to the giant red ogre king.

The alien in particular was the same one that had accompanied Yamcha to paralyse the Sayan Prince and bring him back to the king of the underworld.

He was the one, which darted away when Yamcha began to turn really nasty, judging by the destruction around him he dreaded to think what condition his friend might be in.

"Where has the human gone?" Yamma asked suddenly moderately worried, he too, could feel something wasn't quite right, he could still sense Buu's presence on Earth Goku was fighting him with all the energy he could muster.

Prince Vegeta was one of the only real possibilities, but even he would struggle to harness this much power Yamma didn't think the former heir was stupid enough to risk blowing up the entire solar system and himself, if it was him he must truly be knocked out after that blast.

"He was raping the beautiful blue haired woman in the house over there." Pointed the alien in the direction of the major destruction.

"WHAT! What blue haired woman?" Yamma hollered as he angrily stamped his feet again, this time it caused the remaining cloud they were standing on to give way.

"You mean the Sayan boy was raping an innocent girl! In the afterworld!!!!" roared King Yamma angrily as he continued to plummet, his weight pulling him down much faster than Scrotis.

"No, no, the guy with the scar you sent me with, Vegeta was out cold by the energy penetrator you issued us. "

They both fell for what seemed hours before they finally landed at the bottom of the underworld, it had been many years since Yamma had last visited 'home for infinite losers.'

He landed firmly on the ground, his little colleague on the other hand landed headfirst directly into a deep pool of blood.

"Now look what you made me do Scrotis! I don't want to think how long this is gonna take to repair!" yelled Yamma pointing up to the giant hole in the clouds and glaring over to the little dead alien.

Scrotis, the Cuie look-alike creature from outer space; swam to the bank of the blood lake; it felt so immoral he had always been such a good being when he was alive. This was the complete contrary to what he deserved, he should be honoured as a saint like Goku not swimming about in a pool of blood.

Back on his home planet Zarlosis he had saved millions of his fellow people from a huge energy wave, before then he had saved even more people and helped protect their planets from the huge threat of Freeza and his intergalactic terrorists.

"Now, forget everything else for now, absolutely everything. I DEMAND you to tell me everything which happened, every little detail let me build a picture in my mind." King Yamma ordered as he sat down onto the hard cold floor; it was turning into one of the most stressful days of his life.

He was one hundred percent positive this was going to take some time to sort out…

On the other side of HFIL 

"Dude! Lets play spin the bottle man" shouted out a Sayan called Jefar as he held up an empty glass bottle and waved it in the air to two other huge elite Sayans.

"I aint played that in years, I'm not a kid anymore now where did that barrel of scooch go? Someone's stolen it and I'm not makin anymore today."

"AW come on it'll be a laugh man!" yelled Jefar as he tried to catch the last droplets of alcohol from the empty bottle he was waving.

"Kid he said no, we're busy if you bother us again with that fucking empty bottle I'll smash it over your thick skull got that?." The other elite Sayan called out then added. "We're planning on kidnapping that fat little freak Freeza has been screwing, so go bother someone else GO."

Radditz looked up from the long thorns he was sitting in, and overheard the words 'spin the bottle' quickly he dumped the girl he had been making out with into the spiky plants and rushed over to the strange Sayan.

"I'll play, we can have a massive spin the bottle game get everyone together, every single Sayan down here!! How cools that!"

Jefar looked at the tall longhaired spiky man, he couldn't have been more than twenty-five when he died, and something looked awfully familiar about him.

Forgetting completely about the spin the bottle game he decided to ask some questions.

"Are you somehow interrelated with Turles?" asked Jefar curiously,

Radditz looked slightly surprised, "Turles, yeah sure he's my younger brother he had a twin called Kakkorot who killed Me." he said happily as he drunkenly grabbed the empty bottle from Jefars shocked hand.

"Your own brother slayed you?"

"Not exactly, I was one of the three survivors from the planet Vegetaseii." Radditz said proudly, holding the glass bottle out and waving it like a sword.

"Of course! Kakkorot killed his older brother, he was the Sayan living on Earth, I was talking to Bardock about it the other day. Turles doesn't talk about his brother much; he gets pretty emotional if you get what I mean…"

"Yeah, yeah dying wasn't as bad as I first thought heck it's more fun than being alive!"

"Isn't your brother the guy who fought Freeza and turned into the legendary one?"

"Yep that's my little brother! You know what, if I had the chance again I think I and he might even become mates; I forgive him and maybe he will excuse me for kidnapping that cry-baby brat."

Jefar nodded his head, and then decided to leave Radditz talking to himself, he honestly didn't expect the extremely long haired spiky man to be one of the three survivors, he looked just as ordinary as himself, nothing like prince Vegeta or Sergeant Nappa.

Hitler poured himself out another glass of wine, the bottle had almost gone already, and he still wasn't any closer to telling Freeza the truth about the used vibrator.

The Icejiin was the first to disturb the cold silence that had landed between the couple.

"You should really get rid of that pubic hair attached to your face." Lord Freeza said coldly as he drank the remnants of his glass and glared coldly at the short little German.

"Wha… no no, no, I cannot get rid of this, it not pubic hair it what I call moustache, it very manly." Hitler said in his strong accent proudly, his English was improving by the day; if only he could've spoken more English when he was alive it might have helped him win some wars.

"It is pubic hair, I want it gone _today_"

"Halt Freeza not even you can make me do that, your sex very good but my moustache is mine and it stays forever."

"Does it give you some sort of advantage like those stupid monkeys and their tails?" Freeza asked curiously.

Hitler began to blush.

"I like moustache… make me look like a villain."

Freeza smirked to himself, secretly he loved Adolph's little square moustache, it was definitely a one of a kind, he found it a really big turn on in the bed quarters, along with the snappy Germans extremely hairy chest.

He thought that by forcing the man to shave it off he might get the truth from him, change of tactics.

"Listen Adolf… to me you will always be the cruellest and most successful villain I have ever had the fortune of meeting… not to mention." Freeza paused then blushed; maybe it was the wine talking. "The most attractive."

Hitler beamed a smile, when he was alive he rarely was happy; he had once been quoted as the least humorous man on the Earth, he didn't like to joke about, even in all his portraits and interviews he was stern and serious.

Now in the presence of his new lover he for once truly felt happy, there was just one thing in the back of his mind bothering him… and he couldn't say… it was digging into him like a worm in some soil, it was getting deeper and deeper away from the sunlight.

"Listen my little earthling porn star, you realise you can tell me anything don't you?" Freeza said bleakly, he could see clearly that Hitler was still trying to hide something from him.

The short little German nodded his head in reply; he had his authentic slicked back hairstyle the same as when he was alive in the world wars; he was decked out in an old Nazi uniform he had found in a blood lake the day before spare the pointed battle hat, what had become of the wearer was unknown…

Hitler was never one to let stuff go to waste; it was the way he had been bought up by his parents in the old days.

"I always will tell you everything Freeza, you know that. Now I go find more wine then we talk about important stuff."

**Meanwhile… **

Vegeta handed Bulma one of the golden fruits growing on the huge tree outside King Yamma's office, when he had died before he had heard some rumours that the magical fruits had ancient powers and filled you up for months, he hoped it would help cure Bulma's constant pain.

They had walked away from the half-torn-down house and made it all the way to King Yamma's place without any trouble, Vegeta had carried Bulma in his arms most of the way and was careful to avoid the huge cracks in the clouds he had seemingly managed to form.

He was so transfixed on his wife's wellbeing he didn't notice he had powered back down to his normal self.

It was Bulma who pointed it out as she bit into the large golden fruit, the texture was crunchy and sweet, and it had to be the most pleasant piece of fruit she'd ever consumed.

"Have you noticed something Geta?"

Vegeta glared annoyingly at his wife, he hated it when she played games with him like this.

"Stop playing guessing games woman, yes I know I've half annihilated your present home," he snapped.

"Excuse me Princey! No that's not what I was getting at… your not super Sayan anymore."

Vegeta quickly flitted his eyes downwards and discovered she was true in what she was saying,

"How come… I didn't notice…."

"Perhaps your ultra supersayan thing was temporary?" she said as she dusted off the fresh organic piece of fruit.

Never in her entire life had she felt so full and content, the pain in her ribs had also started to disappear, with a little tender loving care she was sure she'd be fine.

"I…. I still have my tail."

This time it was Bulma to look down, she smirked just like her husbands trademark smirk.

"-I like it"

Vegeta returned the smirk; perverted thoughts began to enter his mind about what new tricks he could show her in the bedroom.

"Are you feeling any stronger?" Vegeta interrupted gently as he removed the naughty thoughts from his mind and gazed at his blue goddess.

Bulma nodded her head,

"I think so… Vegeta…. thanks again." Bulma whispered quietly as she leaned her weight against Vegeta's solid body. All she wanted to do now was have a good long sleep and cuddle up against her knight in Sayan armour.

They'd have plenty of time to talk about stuff later, now she needed rest the apple had made her feel like she'd eaten a six course meal.

Freeza sighed as he picked up the dusty old book from Hitler's bookcase, it looked as if it hadn't been read in decades, and was yellow with age.

"Mein Kampf" Freeza read aloud the title.

Curiously he opened up the first page, and began to read the beginning introduction, his eyes were glued to the contents as he scanned the page and noticed his lovers name mentioned several times, this ancient book he had discovered was like gold dust for it was Hitler's autobiography he wrote whilst alive on Earth in the wars.

Moving onto the bed clutching the book tightly, he slivered onto the cold stone mattress and began to read the long novel, hoping it would give him an insight into his sexual partner's history. Hitler would be back soon with the wine he didn't have much time maybe he could get the first chapter out of the way.

He needed to know what his short little Nazi bed slave was thinking, the book might even help him work out who the device might have been used on, in his cold heart he really began to hope Hitler had used it upon himself but something strong inside his mind almost knew that the sticky cum on the tip of the dildo was another persons.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Hi there, I want to apologise for the delay it has taken me to update lots of my fanfics, I haven't had a writers block or anything nasty like that its just time has been squeezed a bit lately. I hope it was worth the wait my little reviewers I have already begun working on the next chapter ;0) **

**I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, I put lots of work into it… Next chappie Yamma catches Vegeta! What will become of Yamcha? Maybe the Sayans will see him as a fellow Sayan without a tail??? Hmmm…. Will the Sayans ever get to play spin the bottle?**

**What secrets and stuff can come out of a crazy game like that…**

**Stay tuned and review! Lots of humour in the next chapter me thinks…. **

**Oh of course a super big thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapter! Thanks so much my little hunny bunnies I wuv you all!**

**Love Sarah x**

**Surfs up!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"So… let me clarify, Yamcha attacked his former girlfriend and Vegeta awoke destroying him?" Yamma murmured as he stroked his beard in concentration.

"Yes, but he must have awoken with strong new powers… if it was him that killed Yamcha that is." Scrotis replied blinking up to the giant.

The size difference was clear between the two men; Scrotis stood just over five feet and King Yamma towered above at fifteen feet or so.

The king was sitting on the floor cross-legged, deep in thought and almost in a meditative state of mind.

"Well, if Yamcha was destroyed then he is more than likely around here somewhere…" King Yamma whispered as he sussed up the scenario.

The energy Penetrator gun he'd given Yamcha should have been more than enough to knock the Sayan prince out cold; if as Scrotis had said it'd been turned onto full; their was no way in any possible light of chances that the Sayan could have survived… even if he did have the ability to become an ascended Super Sayan on Earth.

Scrotis shaded his eyes from the dark clouded sky and squinted into the distance.

As far as the eye could see was nothing but thorns, baked grey ground and a matching sky. Blood lakes were also scattered about but all the inhabitants seemed to have disappeared off the face of the underworld. HFIL was indeed a very lonely and depressing place to be.

A spooky mysterious breeze drifted through the air, ruffling King Yamma's beard; ripples formed in the lakes red surface.

"We shall have to go and find the inmates and perhaps locate your… associate." He declared, as the giant stood up from the grey dusty ground, leaving a deep imprint where he'd been sitting.

Both had dried off quickly, but Scrotis was left bloodstained after falling into the lake. King Yamma's purple pinstriped suit had been ruined. Both reeked of dried blood.

**Meanwhile…. **

"So… what do you call this game again?" Nappa called out scratching his baldhead in confusion.

"Its spin the bottle moron. You spin the bottle and whoever it lands on has to do a truth or dare; whichever they decide." Radditz sighed angrily.

"Ohhhh I see! I used to play a game like that with the prince" Nappa replied, smiling back at the memories of life.

"Yeah we did, didn't you ever wander how he got the best end of the deal each time?" Radditz growled, the other dozen or so Sayans laughed aloud.

"Come to think of it… your right! Not once did he have to do a double dare. I remember that time you two made me strip and knock on the most beautiful woman's door on the ship."

Radditz laughed this time. "Yeah and she set fire to your balls!"

Nappa suddenly looked deadly serious. "That was the second time that has happened to me. My father ruined my pubic hair when I was just a kid…"

The crowd sitting around in a circle crowed with laughter. "Nappa… I think perhaps you should have kept that to yourself."

"So has anybody got a spare bottle?" Turles shouted out, he was sitting between two beautiful female Sayans. One with long black and red hair, the other with shoulder length straight brown hair.

"I'll get one!!" A mysterious teenager yelled back, as he jumped out of the ring and went to locate a suitable bottle.

The entire group applauded and cheered, then Radditz came up with an even better idea… "Anybody agree. We should invite his _Lord Freeza _and that crazy guy he bums with?"

The whole grouping raised their hands and some their tails, into the air to show their support to the idea.

"Who wants the good deeds of fetching them?" Radditz asked, as he laid back onto the firm body of a beautiful blonde human female. She was wearing an outfit strikingly familiar to that of a pole dancer. A tiny red fluffy thong, with a tiny piece of stringy material covering her breasts, it didn't leave much to the imagination.

"I'll go." Offered Nappa, as he stood up and stretched his arms and legs in an awkward fashion, his body armour making strange ripping noises with each stretch.

"I shall assist you, they are not usually very co-operative." King Vegeta said, standing away from his wife and walking over to the man he appointed guardian to his son.

Both men stood very tall, something the prince hadn't inherited from his father; Nappa still towering above his majesty. Both were very drunk, they half staggered out of the room and into the outside. Arm locked in arm, supporting one another. The Sayans all peered through the open door until the Kings red cloak disappeared from sight; then they sprung back into conversation.

**Meanwhile… **

"Scrotis. This is utterly useless, without the help of my locater we have little to no chance of finding Yamcha. I never knew this land was so sparse, now when Baba told me it was getting overcrowded to say I believed her…"

Scrotis looked up to the king, who appeared to be mumbling about something coherent; he had to admit, they'd walked for what seemed miles and still they hadn't came across a single sole. Not even an ogre.

"Y….Your…. Highness… shall we go.. Back to the office, maybe.. Can find Yamcha on the system." The little alien stuttered, he was terrified of the land he found himself in and of the great temperamental King Yamma.

"So, you agree we shall we call it a day and return to my office? I still have Vegeta to try and sort out I suppose, and that Yamcha looks like he will be staying here for some time, unfortunately there is a diminutive problem with that…"

"What… would that be your majesty?"

"If the Sayans find out that miss Briefs was, as you say raped… If they ever uncover she was their future queen… I feel it will not be good down here for him, not in the slightest; especially as the prince will be joining them down here very soon…"

"I see. Are the Sssayans not locked up…"

King Yamma sighed, "No, unfortunately not, we ran out of room when the whole race was sent to home for infinite losers. _Yes_ every single Sayan ever born had done things deemed bad enough to go to this hell hole… its sad really." King Yamma paused. "With the exception of Goku of course."

"Sayans … they were the ones that destroyed my-" Scrotis was cut off by the Kings hand, as he held it up a symbol for him to stop.

"Yes, I am fully aware of how cruel and physically powerful those people were… but it's either let them loose down here, or somebody like Freeza. Which do you think is worse… until we get more cells built it's the only option, life is still hell down here after all."

**Oh how wrong King Yamma actually was… **

"Get your fag arse out of this cage _now._" King Vegeta ordered stepping into Freeza's cell, the Icejiin was lying sprawled out on the bed reading the autobiography of his lover.

Until the booming deep voice of the king, Freeza was unaware of anybody else's presence he'd gotten lost in the pages and felt as if he'd been transported to Earth and was living in the war.

He never realised Earthlings could be so bloodthirsty and violent, truly Freeza found a connection he never knew existed… him and his lover were more alike than previously believed; both were definitely power hungry and enjoyed dominance.

"Oh Vegeta… what a pleasant surprise." Freeza said dryly, as he quickly closed the page of the yellowed book, then turned to the two intruders standing in the darkened doorway.

"You're coming with us lizard breath." Nappa yelled, as he grinned menacingly; Freeza growled under his breath. Oh how he missed the days of being alive.

"I don't think so Sayans! I may have lost all my powers but I still refuse to be pushed around by some stinking monkeys." Freeza declared in his pervy voice, as he smirked then licked his lips staring tentatively at the King. "Oh, how sweet your blood tasted Vegeta. It feels like it was just yesterday I killed you." He paused waiting for a reaction. The former tyrant didn't have to wait very long.

King Vegeta lunged forwards, closely followed by Nappa; grabbing Freeza by the throat he told him a few chosen words before dragging him to the hut where the group of Sayans were waiting.

Freeza had nothing else he could possibly do; but go along.

He prayed the little outing didn't involve drinking sperm like earlier when they'd offered him the drink so politely.

Shuddering at the thought, he screamed in a high woman-like voice as Nappa stood with all his tons of weight onto the Icejiins long dirty tail. He still hadn't cleaned it after the morning's sex sessions with Adolf; he liked the scent it left behind.

"Where are you both taking me? Let me guess another torture session, just what I need to awaken my senses…" Freeza hissed, as Nappa proceeded to twist his tail; if Freeza was a gentleman he would have warned the big dumb bald Sayan to wash his hands afterwards… but Freeza was no gentleman. What Nappa was doing now felt slightly sensual if anything, he hoped that wherever he was being taken it would involve chains and if he was really lucky whips… For a slight moment Hitler had evaporated to the back of his mind; replaced with thoughts of being forced into painful positions whilst being subjected to very strong sex acts…

Strangely the Icejiin began to find himself growing wet at his back section; a sure sign he was getting aroused.

Back in the Afterworld… 

"This looks a good place to rest." Vegeta said as he gently placed his wife down in a pile of fluffy clouds.

Bulma purred at the new soft texture hitting her bare back, she'd never felt so tired in her life. Even the pregnancy whilst carrying Trunks had been nothing to the exhaustion she felt now.

After eating the fruit, one diverse reaction seemed to be, it made her sleepy.

Opening one eye, she took in her husband's new appearance, the long fluffy tail was definitely an eye-opener, and it matched his physique perfectly. His figure looked exactly as it had before he'd transformed into the new Super Sayan. Bulma had to admit, he had looked seriously sexy and handsome with the long dark spiky hair and the red fur; she began to feel curious as to what it would feel like to stroke… "Vegeta… do you think you could turn back into that form if you wanted?" Bulma asked curiously.

Vegeta looked down at his tired wife, he had to admit she did look worse for wear after that freak Yamcha tried to have his way… Vegeta couldn't help himself as a low dangerous growl escaped his throat.

"Woman I don't know, until I have the time and the right conditions I wont know… it seemed very temporary, I definitely wield the power inside of me; it seems as though I've ascended even further than Kakkorot. Now if only I was to have another shot at Buu, I have to thank that pink blob personally for giving me, my newfound powers. That baka earthling was hardly worth the energy he didn't even try to put up a fight. Hmf weakling."

"Well I think you looked handsome…" Bulma dropped off, as she escaped into the world of dreams. Sleep finally claiming her.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow then smirked to himself. "Hmf so I don't look handsome usually? I'll have to show you later my queen…once you've rested enough."

The Sayan prince, grinned as perverted thoughts flashed through his mind, then he too decided to take a well-earned rest. Settling down beside the sleeping form of Bulma he closed his eyes and tried to work out what could have caused him to ascend so powerfully like he had. Not even Buu had uncovered that power… unless it had been unlocked after he'd sacrificed himself… he continued to think of all the possible case scenarios until he too finally dropped off to sleep. His tail wrapped protectively around Bulma's waist, his head nuzzled close to hers.

King Yamma slammed the remaining books onto the desk, he couldn't find the locater anywhere… it had been several centuries since he'd last used it and in that time, the paperwork had mounted up horrendously.

"Any luck over their Scrotis?" He called as he wiped a brow of sweat off his forehead.

Scrotis lifted his head from inside a giant filing cabinet and shook vigorously; the biggest spider he had ever set eyes upon was staring at him… it looked hungry.

"No… Yamma sir."

"That's King Yamma to you. Well don't stand their keep looking! Your friend's life is at stake. It's incredibly hard to kill someone who's already dead… But if he does, it's completely out of my hands."

"Excuse me… King Yamma your sir… perhaps Yamcha deserves to remain in HFIL, that poor girl I hope she's okay… she looked so beautiful and innocent…"

King Yamma growled loudly, the entire office shook. "If the girl who you describe to be innocent is the one I'm thinking of… she's not as pure as you'd think, she's actually married to the brute whose blown up HALF MY LAND!"

Scrotis quickly decided to jump back among the colossal sized files, each was larger than him. The huge spider was much less scary than the demon king.

Trishco swung around on his computer chair, "It seems that the ogres aren't replying to any emails I send your majesty."

"That's because they're a useless bunch of idiots. They don't even know how to work a computer." Yamma snapped, Trischo quickly went back to inputting some data into the system. Yamma was in the foulest mood since the ice age when his office had frozen over.

Baba hovered on her magic orb, smiling she realised it must all be going wrong once again for the great King Yamma. She'd just come from Earth, which was now three quarters flattened with the battle against Majjin Buu, and now the after world looked half gone.

In the distance she could make out the figures of two people among the clouds. One looked extremely familiar to the little witch, cackling to herself she hoped it was Bulma; thinking twice she prepared to capsulate her magic ball. The last time they'd met Bulma had broken it whilst trying to watch Yamcha fight the Sayans.

"Yamcha and Bulma… up to their old ways!" cackled Baba, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

BACK DOWN TO HFIL 

Freeza was dragged into the mouldy looking wooden hut. The smell of damp hit him the moment the door opened. Inside looked dark and depressing, just the conditions the Sayans seemed to thrive in.

"You got him?" yelled out Turles, as he pulled his hand out of the shorthaired females top, she let out an angry sigh as he stopped massaging her.

"You bet boys… uh and girls." Nappa shouted back as he stepped into the hut first, dragging Freeza by the tail.

King Vegeta closely followed.

Freeza's eyes bulged out as he was forced into the circle of Sayans;

"Sit down freak. You're going to play a game with us." Demanded Panbukin a former member of Bardock's team. He moved his tail out and grabbed Freeza sitting the lizard next to him.

"I don't want to sit next to butt plug man thanks. I might catch a disease." Totapo replied, as he got up from his place and sat next to Nappa.

Totapo like Panbukin was a member of Bardock's team who was killed on Planet Meat by one of Freeza's men Durdoria.

Radditz laughed loudly at the last comment, before the teenage Saiyan appeared with two empty glass bottles in hand.

"What took you so long sonny!?? Yelled Panbukin. "Wow don't that make me sound really old or what…"

"Like… I'm so sorry guys; I couldn't find any empty bottles so I had to resort to drinking both of them. Here two empty wine bottles it is…" The teenager smirked, flinging the bottles into the middle of the ring then taking a seat himself. He had dark navy hair, with little red spikes, his tail was long and fluffy and his eyes were a mystical green.

The girls both sitting next to Turles began to shift at the youngster's presence. The Sayan with long black and red hair attempted to rise from the ring before a firm tail clamped her back down to her place.

"Stay." The twin brother of Goku said calmly, before releasing the now pouting girl.

"So where's your boyfriend _my Lord._" Radditz called out, as he pulled himself off the beautiful blonde females lap. He was slightly disappointed; the game could have been so much more interesting if Freeza bought along his 'Bum Chum' as the German was regularly known as.

"That is none of your concern monkey breath." Freeza hissed out, his tail smashing into the floor creating a deep imprint.

As if to answer bardock's eldest son; the wooden door slammed open and in the doorway stood a short little human… and another guy wearing a fluffy bearskin hat.

"Adolf! What are you doing here?" Shouted out Freeza to the newcomer, the man in the green uniform with the fur hat stood to attention to the Sayans.

"Oh yes! Its bum chum!" yelled out Panbukin, his tail flickering with excitement.

"Hey! You stole my word fatboy!! Take it back!" Radditz called out, waving his fist drunkenly and angrily.

Several muffles of laughter came from the remaining Sayans who were watching the argument begin to escalate.

"You have no right to call me that! I'm old enough to be your father! Show some respect boy." Panbukin called back.

"You _worked_ with my father, I believe you're very familiar with him. _Fatarse_."

King Vegeta stood up before Radditz threw anymore-childish drunken remarks to Panbukin. The room suddenly silenced, the chuckles stopped instantly.

"So whose your father then? I bet you were shot into space at birth." The short fat Sayan continued, completely missing the King glaring at him coldly.

Radditz growled, "No, you're mistaking me for my younger brother. My father is Bardock and just to inform you, I was working with the prince whilst you were long dead. I believe that makes me an Elite does it not?"

Panbukin paled slightly in colour, "oh, of course Radditz. Forgive me…"

Radditz smirked. "You're forgiven – for now, now lets play before we get anymore rude interruptions. I think his majesty should have the honour of spinning the bottle first."

The King picked up his cocktail from the table, then growled as he sat back down next to his beautiful wife; also Prince Vegeta's mother.

"What are you doing here Adolf! Who is the strange man you came in with? I demand an answer now!" Freeza whispered angrily as Adolf took a seat next to a rough looking male Sayan with many battle scars. He didn't look like a Sayan to mess with.

The short little dictator was only a few people away from Freeza, and he completely ignored his lover.

"HOW DARE YOU IGNORE-" Freeza was cut off by Panbukin slamming his fist onto the lizards head, it surprised the Icejiin; he felt his eyes almost fall out of his head a sudden ebbing feeling came from the blow like a bad hangover.

"Don't talk when the King is present slimeball." Panbukin growled, shifting in his spot to get comfortable, his rolls of fat poking out from the broken Sayan armour.

The stranger with the fur hat chuckled in a foreign accent, as Freeza received another hit from the Saiyan sitting on the opposite side.

Hitler remained completely silent; he was holding his Nazi badge so tightly that the colour was draining from his hand. It was something the German had never left, no matter where he had been; even on Earth in the trenches he'd had the metal badge in his pocket.

His cousin had given it to him for good luck; it was the same sign that was made into the dreaded Swatzigar. Being in the hut with the handful of Sayans was suddenly making the dead human feel frightened and small.

The aliens he found himself amongst, were one of the most victorious races there ever was. Much stronger and successful than the Germans could have ever been… Just thinking of the Sayan people bought a tear to the square moustached man's eye.

If only he had known them whilst being alive on Earth… established links with the aliens. Formed an alliance with them… He would have won the First World War almost instantly, America would now be the new Germany and the United Kingdom reduced into a waste dump for the Germans mess.

"Adolf, we stay to play game yes?" The man said in a strong accent, his fur hat bobbed on his head as he spoke.

Hitler snapped back into reality at the sound of the human's voice. "Yes, yes of course my friend. We stay."

"Well… LETS GET ON WITH IT THEN!" Shouted out Turles impatiently, both the girls sitting next to him jumped into the air.

"Don't you dare rush the King, you disrespectful third class peasant!" Nappa hollered back, staring coldly to the twin of Goku. "Hey… don't you look really familiar."

Turles quickly growled, then downed the tiny shot of vodka in one gulp. He really had to get the ogres to smuggle some more of the burning drink into the land. It was like gold dust, and went down well with the homemade hooch. "Yeah I look familiar, I'm sure. Keep your mouth shut Radditz if you don't want it blown off."

Radditz smirked to his younger brother, receiving a death glare in return.

Meanwhile the Ginyu force were lying in the mud near the largest blood lake,

"Hey Guldo, come over here and rub the mud on my back will you?" Recoombe asked politely pointing to his hairy back.

"Why's it always me? No. Not today. I had to get the headlice out of your hair yesterday its Burters turn."

Burter lifted an eye lazily, "No sorry Recoombe, this mud bath is just too good it's doing my skin wonders."

Jeice popped his head up from the mud; he had been swimming through it breathing through what looked to be a straw. His white hair had now transformed into a giant mud mound. "Hey. Anyone else think this is pretty erotic?" Jeice asked, taking a deep breath of the stale air and settling his hands behind his neck.

"Yeah you bet, never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured having a mud bath with you guys. Maybe a melted chocolate orgy or a hot naked shower…" Burter said, beginning to drool. Images of Zarbon in the shower began to flow back to him.

"Yeah… shower." Reccombe murmured grinning toothlessly.

"You think we're homosexual then? I was just thinking this earlier… it's kinda confusing, I mean in my life or when I was alive… whatever. Well I screwed a damn load of woman and… my that _was_ nice, but now I have been with men its… different… nice also. I just didn't want to be branded like a tin of beans." Jeice grumbled, he scratched his muddy head in confusion.

"I dunno. I guess it makes us both." Reccombe exclaimed, he smiled again. "Yes both, the best of both worlds. The ice cream and the custard."

All the Ginyu spare Reccombe pulled a puzzled expression and began to sweat drop.

"You're matching us up to a desert!" yelled Guldo angrily, as he jumped up from the mud pool, revealing his hardened state.

"Oh put it away _please!_" Begged Burter, as he cupped his hands together as if praying.

"Yeah, I suppose we are kind of like dessert, its my favourite meal of the day! Well except fresh meat of course…" Reccombe said licking his lips.

The remaining three of the Ginyu all sweat dropped, "Maybe we should test to see if we're gay or not?" Jeice suggested, he was feeling awkward; the question had been bugging him for days after raping Zarbon.

"Test. And how are we supposed to do that dummy!" Guldo grumbled, pulling himself back down into the mud, much to the pleasure of Burter.

"I dunno, I'm sure I can come up with summint." Jeice replied, he closed his eyes pondering on the thought and began to think up possible ideas.

The King of all Sayans stepped up from the cushion he had been sitting upon. All the Sayans stood up drunkenly and bowed before his majesty, some clouting each other with loosely hanging tails and butting heads.

The dozen or so in the hut were selected by Radditz to play the spin the bottle game thought up earlier.

"So, I just spin this glass bottle right?" King Vegeta asked, pointing to the empty wine bottle in the middle of the ring.

"Yep, just spin it, and we'll see who it lands on. The person gets the choice of a truth or dare." Radditz declared proudly, this had always been one of his and the prince's favourite games to play with Nappa. Although Vegeta had always gotten the better end of the straw each time, he had always been very creative in the dares and questions shot at the two Sayans.

"We had game like this on Earth." Hitler shouted out happily, he had just downed a cocktail passed over by a beautiful female Sayan, the plus being it tasted familiar to mango; not seaman, urine or anything else nasty.

"Yeah, yeah." Turles grumbled, "Remind me why we gotta play with humans again?" he moaned indicating to the short German and the new stranger.

Nappa smirked evilly, "Because kid, it'll be a lot more fun."

King Vegeta chuckled under his breath, the Sayans all sat back down onto the hard stone floor. "Right, ensure you're all spacious enough apart. I now announce this spin the bottle game open. By law of the King nobody can back down from a dare, and the truth must be sworn at all times."

The entire room, spare Freeza gave a loud applause; several bottles were thrown into the air along with the strange humans fur hat.

* * *

_**Disclaimer: Hi all! **_

_**I hope you've enjoyed this chapter tehehe. Spin the bottle game is next chapter ;-0) **_

_**I promise everything should be answered very soon! I.E who the strange man is, Baba mistaking Bulma and Vegeta, The Ginyu force and their test, anyway LOADS MORE planned for next chapter! **_

_**Must go, I may not be updating for two or three weeks as I am going on holiday (please be nice weather and fun surf please please) **_

_**The weather England has had lately… you may or may not have seen it on the news but half the country is under water! (Literally!) Thankfully not the area I live, but some is like ten feet under water its crazy. The rain still continues to pour and the rivers just can't take anymore… not good. **_

_**Well I best be going! Thanks everybody for the brilliant reviews and support hehe! Yeah the Hitler/Freeza is pretty funny, but please people whatever gets written in this fanfic don't take offence. **_

_**Its so much appreciated if you could leave a review; its not only nice manners it makes me feel so happy and proud… They really make my day, I promise I'll be checking my emails each day whilst on holiday (via phone) and hopefully will be taking laptop so I can do some writing not just notepad scribbling. **_

_**Love you all! **_

_**Thanks again! **_

_**Love sarah x**_

_**Surfs up! **_


	10. Chapter 10

_Authors Note_

**Hi there, just to let you all know that I have not forgotten about this fanfic; I have been working on the plot and should hopefully be updating it soon!**

**Sorry for the huge ridiculous space of time it is currently taking, I hope you are not all getting too peeved off; and I promise that I shall try my hardest to make it worth your while!**

**Love Sarah x**


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